Irrefutable scientific proof that cycling drunk is safer than cycling sober

I used to ride home all the time, drunk, no lights, no helmet, never had an accident. I put that entirely down to luck. I very rarely drink and ride nowadays, getting hit by a car when its not your fault sucks, but at least you can claim some money from their insurance. If you're drunk you'll have a pretty hard time getting anything ... unless you're really good at acting sober ;)

The worst kind of hangover would be waking up in the morning to find my a twisted pile of steel where my bike lives :'(

That's when it all sinks in, next day you sucking cock for rock to buy a new bike LOL