• I've never been stopped by the Police, mainly because I am an upstanding member of the community and never disobey the law. If I was to be stopped, I would apologise and thank them for pointing out the error of my ways and promise never to do it again.

    Mind you, yesterday a motorcyclist had a go at me for jumping a series of red lights so I called him a tosser in a VERY loud voice and repeatedly with a little extension of vocabulary as well. I was, after all, merely seeking to proceed to a position of safety.

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