What do you say to the rozzers when you get stopped for something petty?

just open your mouth and by the accent they will let you off for being retarded

That's pretty good!

cockhead :P

Hello officer, nice day isn't it (ignoring the rain, snow, sleet)...how can I help you?

A background check?

Well to tell the truth officer, I'm clean............except for my arse.

Thats dirty, and I'm dying for a cavity search. Would you oblige me and do the honours?

Thank you officer.

Ahem:

damn..... my secrets out.

if a cop stops you give it: the yes sir, no sir, 3 bags full sir, I'm such a tool and I wont do it again...honest.

+1 - unless you haven't done anything wrong of course.

I'm generally a law abiding citizen and have a great deal of respect for the police - my brother's a PC after all. What worries me is the powers police are being given that allows them to target law abiding citizens, and because so few people are aware of their rights now, people are less likely to question the police if stopped - not to mention the fact that when you do question the officer, or show any signs of knowing your rights, you're labelled a troublemaker and treated very differently.

I got tugged on the crap xmas alley cat and told them I was on a charity bike ride, apologised profusely for cutting them up and jumping the red light in front of them, they then let me on my way....

quality one this morning...

I jumped a light on Kennington Rd. Ok, my bad. Riding in the bus lane a Police van comes up along side me and one leans out of the passenger-side window and says "Red lights are for you too mate!"... I give him a wave and say far enough. Fast forward a couple of minutes I see the same Po van jump a Red at a pedestrian crossing thing. I could not believe it. I stay behind them for a while until they pull over to go to a cafe near waterloo. I stopped and told him (passenger-side) that his mate (who is trying not to crack up with laugher) had just gone through one himself. He totally denied it but could definitely see the funny side.

my eyes hurt.

my eyes hurt.

is that down to the content on display in the other browser tab?

i got stopped for wheely-ing on halloween, the polce dude described it as "one wheeled antics".

I've been pulled for doing fuck all (back when I was driving a lot) and I felt well within my rights to give them shit. I'm not a worm wriggling around on the shiny black boots of the law. They just get bored, although I am talking about small town coppers.

Not really sure what you mean by this?

I think you must be confused, I said this thread was 'a bit bikeradar', its not ACTUALLY bikeradar.

did it come across that way? yeah I guess it probably did

the lights red, someone creeps through, past the crossing, past one lane... waits a bit for the traffic to clear and creeps past that just in time for the lights to go red and everyone go past them, thus saving no time whatsoever

riding fixed doesn't mean you can't sit and wait for lights to change... trackstand

Once they get talking about things they like, and think you want to listen to what they ahve to say, they'll lose interest in the reason they stopped you and will be far less inclined to follow through.

True enough. Most are desperate for friends. More and more of them these days aren't really up to dealing with the heavy duty crims, and go after the easy targets to keep the numbers up. Fortunately, most have enough common sense not to give a fuck about cyclists.

I never, EVER, make eye contact with police, and on a couple of occasions when yelled at have simply ridden on as if I didn't hear 'em.

the officer that got you sounds like a royal pleb to me, a little like the one who stopped me recently. Some officers have got this power trip stuff going on, which is infuriating, and makes u want to smash their face in, literally.

oh and all you can do is be polite and suck it up. There is no other option.

Smile and nod. And appologies like you ran over their mother.

I like to remind myself that no matter what, they've got the worse end of the deal, because they're a copper and have given up all chance of having a normal, happy life. I'll pay a £30 ticket not to have to be in the Met.

The only place where it is safe to go through red lights and take one way streets is by Scotland Yard.

I like to remind myself that no matter what, they've got the worse end of the deal, because they're a copper and have given up all chance of having a normal, happy life. I'll pay a £30 ticket not to have to be in the Met.

That may have been posted in jest, but it's actually very true. My brother was staying at my parents' house while I was at home for Christmas, and while I was there for near enough a week and a half, I only saw him 5 or 6 times - and I really do mean saw. Shift working really messes up your life.

He's a good copper though - I wish more were like him.

I've never been stopped by the Police, mainly because I am an upstanding member of the community and never disobey the law. If I was to be stopped, I would apologise and thank them for pointing out the error of my ways and promise never to do it again.

Mind you, yesterday a motorcyclist had a go at me for jumping a series of red lights so I called him a tosser in a VERY loud voice and repeatedly with a little extension of vocabulary as well. I was, after all, merely seeking to proceed to a position of safety.

just open your mouth and by the accent they will let you off for being retarded

Whereas with you, they judge on sight alone.

Clive - never? not even in error?
that's pretty good going for a man of your age.

hippy didn't you watch a short video near st pauls to get off a £30 RLJ.

Yep.. for Feb they were offering refunds if you watch a vid and sit in a truck. I've never sat in a truck before. It was fun. I wasn't allowed to drive it though, but the nice female officer showing me the truck let me drive her in the convenient sleeping quarters behind the seats. Police Cyclist relations on the up up up!

Did she take down your particulars?

Seinfeld slap bass

I was stopped by a plain clothes officer on Proctor st for cycling on the pavement a while back...He informed me that thousands of blind people were now agoraphobic because of people like me!
I agreed that that this was truly a terrible thing and he sent me on my way.
I'm not sure where he got his figures from, but have found just being agreeable is the easier option.

Me and el squire got pulled up by a couple of police on XTR equipt mountain bikes for jumping a red. It was entirely suire's fault; he shouted 'go for it' (or something along those lines) as we were approaching a junction with about 3000 pedestrians waiting to cross. We were totally in the wrong, as the lights had definately turned red as we approached them.
As we went through, the police were just pulling out from behind the massive group of pedestrians. They pulled us over, and proceded to do background checks. One officer was female, she took my details, and we had a little chat about her bike and how she's being given the shittest oldest one in the unit - i told her that this was an outrage and a skilled cyclist such as herself should warrant better equiptment etc etc. Chris was arguing away with his (sqaure jawed, would willingly kick the shit out of you) officer.
Needless to say, i got off Scott free, he was fined £30! lol
Weird tho, u would've thought they'd try to be uniform about that sort of thing, we both went through at the same time...

I was stopped by a plain clothes officer on Proctor st for cycling on the pavement a while back...He informed me that thousands of blind people were now agoraphobic because of people like me!
I agreed that that this was truly a terrible thing and he sent me on my way.
I'm not sure where he got his figures from, but have found just being agreeable is the easier option.

Authority gone mental!

That reminds me of that silly little girl I was playing with on the beach when I was about 6, she started to throw sand at me for no reason and to defend myself I threw sand back and she ran to her house crying blue murder. Her mum and her aunt came to see me at my house (I was on my own) and shouted at me and said that because of me "YOU COULD HAVE HURT HER EYES AND SHE WOULD HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES LIKE YOU!". I was so scared that I pissed myself. I was terrified for days and avoided that part of the beach the entire summer. I told my parents years later.