Welcome

I'm sure this isn't the place, but where do i introduce myself? My wife has just made the loser thing at me as she reads over my shoulder, so I guess any abuse i get on here will be like water etc etc..

Loser? Well I never!...
...If your wife fancies a laugh* and is also interested methods of cleaning her drivechain should should have a quick lok at this:
http://www.londonfgss.com/thread3372-3.html#post388823

*at Tynan's expense