Essential racing advice inspired by Nietzsche

Essential racing advice inspired by Nietzsche

I recently gave this advice in response to a letter I received at Team Etchingham HQ.

It is is little long for a post but contains some essential racing advice should you ever find yourself in this position on a hill top finish.

Cheers...

Dear Jonny,

You're racing with your father. It's a brutally hot and humid afternoon. The road is almost empty, most of the other riders have retired, apparently unwilling to continue in this stifling heat. You and your father are the only two riders left with any real chance of winning the race, as the others have dropped off on the final gruelling climb.

Your father's face is flushed, his breathing is laboured. You sense with 1k to go to the summit it is time to make him hurt even more. You flick the gear lever and start pressing the hammer. He grunts as he lurches forward from his seat and stretches himself to keep your wheel. The noises he is making are awful and you can tell he is weakening fast. Sensing a diminution in his power and in his spirit you don't let up.

You pass the 500m sign and though the gradient eases a little you only use this to drop a tooth and raise the speed. Your father reaches desperately at his gears, trying to find one that will ease his pain, you look back and notice he is still on your wheel but clutching his chest with one hand, he notices your glance and gets of the saddle once more, a man on the very edge.

You are at 300m to go and the road ramps up suddenly to an unbearable gradient. This is your chance to finish him for surely he has nothing left. You heave yourself up and push on with all your power. To your surprise you sense your father has somehow fought to stay with you.

In the still sultry air, you can hear him wheeze as he struggles to push, push, push, managing an absolutely last-ditch survival-spurt of power to keep with you.

At 150m the line is in sight. You drop it back on to the big ring and force everything you have left through the cranks, when you hear, just a little behind you, that your father has collapsed on his bike.

Do you forgo the winning sprint, jump off your bike, and rush to your father's assistance? Or do you shoot for the line, winning the hard-fought race, then rush to your father's aid? Jonny, you make the call.

Greg Hayes
Evansville, IN

Dear Greg,

Nietzche wrote: What is good? - All that enhances the feeling of power, the Will to Power, and power itself in man. What is bad? - All that proceeds from weakness. What is happiness? - The feeling that power is increasing.

Ace the finish, win the race, and then rush to your stricken father's aid. Your father, from the symptoms you've described - flushed face, laboured breathing, severe chest pains - has apparently suffered a massive coronary. It's doubtful that the time it takes to take the win will cost your father much in terms of survivability.

Don't let the last thing your father see you do be an act of abject sentiment and weakness. Nail the sprint with joyful ferocity. You win, your father loses. Victory is good. Be happy.

(with big props to Mark Leyner)

what would Freud say? what would your mother say? what would Freud say about what your mother said and what you thought about your mother?

what would Freud say? what would your mother say? what would Freud say about what your mother said and what you thought about your mother?

That it's all about sex and penises probably..

On a more serious note though, it's interesting that you mention sentimentality as a weakness in the first choice (stopping and trying to help) and then go on to say that you want the last thing your father sees to be you winning..

Also, although you're right in your judgement that the time it takes you to win the race is negligible, I'm not sure that you'd be thinking in such a logical fashion in the heat of the moment..

depends on your relationship with your father. mine's fucked so i wouldn't stop and win the race, smile and head straight to the pub.

150m to go.. opponents dropping like flies.. of course I'd take the fucking win!

Then I'd ride back and do a little victory dance around the old man, the drug test, the presentations, then I'd wonder why the lazy bastard hadn't packed up his bike yet..

150m to go.. opponents dropping like flies.. of course I'd take the fucking win!

Then I'd ride back and do a little victory dance around the old man, the drug test, the presentations, then I'd wonder why the lazy bastard hadn't packed up his bike yet..

You and your old man would have trailed in sadly together.......it was after all a 'hill top finish' and therefore all you would have seen is me straightening my jersey and raising my hands in front of you. Then I'd have done a little victory dance around you and the old man, tested some drugs ,and presented myself!
Poms 1 Aussies 0!
FE

I think you mean..
After seeing fasteddy pass by on ToW and knowing the two tubbies couldn't hope to compete they did what came naturally to those of convict breeding.. they played dirty.
After hippy's convincing win over his father, questions were raised about fasteddy's whereabouts. All was revealed on the evening news when images of fasteddy and the sheep he was reportedly intimately involved with were broadcast.
fasteddy appeared dazed and could only manage "I don't know what happened.. the last thing I remember was having dinner at the hotel and then nothing. I woke up this morning and was only freed by the room-keeper who heard my cries for help."

hippy and co. racing say it's unfortunate that greatest so often turns to scandal but vow to race on, not passing judgment on the sheep or fasteddy until the rspca have made their final decision.

Aussies 1000000000
Poms 0.5