"lycra-clad twats with red leg-warmers on 25kg MTBs jump on to the pavement to overtake you because you are slowing down smoothly for a red light" (this morning, Hammersmith Road)
and
"white van drivers buzz your rear wheel by six inches trying to decide if they can overtake you" (yesterday, Hampsted Rd)
er how about
"lycra-clad twats with red leg-warmers on 25kg MTBs jump on to the pavement to overtake you because you are slowing down smoothly for a red light" (this morning, Hammersmith Road)
and
"white van drivers buzz your rear wheel by six inches trying to decide if they can overtake you" (yesterday, Hampsted Rd)