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@matt_r_p
er how about
"lycra-clad twats with red leg-warmers on 25kg MTBs jump on to the pavement to overtake you because you are slowing down smoothly for a red light" (this morning, Hammersmith Road)
and
"white van drivers buzz your rear wheel by six inches trying to decide if they can overtake you" (yesterday, Hampsted Rd)