Bad Films

Lost in Translation.
The most tedious waste of time in the world. Yet you make this observation and people say shit like "well if you want car chases and explosions go and watch an action film". The film is lacking any kind of plot, there is no story arc, there is no character exploration, there is no emotion. Sofia Coppola cannot direct. plain and simple. She clearly wanted to do a mood piece, but she has the lumpen bludgeon of Guy Ritchie, when such an exercise needs the deft finesse of Krzysztof Kieslowski.

Eyes Wide Shut.
Even Nicole Kidman naked can't disguise what a boring, pointless, self-indulgent pile of wank Kubrick's swansong is. And the soundtrack which consists of some cunt bashing the same single piano key over and over and over and over again. For fuck's sake.

The Avengers
Oh god. where do I start? Everything about this film is awful. Story, casting, plot, acting, direction. The only film where I walked out of the cinema and wanted those two hours of my life back.

The Saint.
I am a huge fan of the original Saint books, and liked the TV adaptations too, but this film bore no relation to the character in the title. Val Kilmer is a terrible actor with an odd shaped face and tiny piggy eyes. Give him loads of disguises and dodgy fake accents and it gets worse. Then have him playing a thief instead of the thief-catcher he is meant to be, and remove all traces of suavity, sophistication and panache and what do you get? A turkey.

Apart from the fact that I haven't seen the Saint, and I don't think the tedious waste of time that was Lost in Translation was ENTIRELY Sofia Coppola's fault, I am in complete agreement with this post.