Back to the OP, maybe you both should head down to Trix night near Spitalfields tonight?
It can be a bit difficult to teach loved ones stuff and you both often end up getting annoyed...
"Just lock your legs and lean forward a little..."
"I fucking am locking my legs and leaning forwards, you bellend..."
"No you're fucking not, otherwise you'd be fucking doing it!"
cue escalation in hostilities that leaves millions dead...
quality