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@Jimmy_Fingers
Stumble up to them semi-drunk while they're locking up their bikes and say 'I just wanted to look at the bikes. I'm not going to steal them' outside a comedy club in Shoreditch. Follow up with 'I ride fixed, but in Cheltenham and no-one else does' to which I get the reply 'too many in London'. Stumble back to the club, finish my roll up and exit stage left, hoping that the silk scarf and Cavalli jacket meant I didn't look like a bike thief.
Wednesday Night, true story. If you're here, thanks for not hitting me with the D-Lock