Advice for Old Members

Welcome to the LFGSS. It may not always seem like it but apparently the forum is actually a friendly place full of kind and helpful people - you may even be one of them. I am relatively new here myself and have pissed off almost everyone I've encountered, most often for spelling things wrong, so I've plagiarised this to help you get the most from your newbies and to stop you getting off on the wrong foot with them.

1. Newbies tend not to use the Search function. Although most technical questions will already have been asked and answered they're in unfamiliar ground. It's like they're asking for directions rather than buying a map.
   
2. Many start by asking "What kind of fixed/single speed bike should I get?". They value your opinion.
   
3. Some may make their first five posts the "I am only writing this to get to five posts" variety. They will be insulted and then banned. And rightly so.
   
4. Don't get upset if you get a bit of abuse. Take it as a joke, don't be defensive or offended. Newbies can give as good as they get - they're not all humourless retards.
   
5. Look at the Members List - if you like looking at lists.
   
6. Don't make your every post an expression of your prejudices.
   
7. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't take yourself too seriously. A bit of self-mockery will help you no end.
   
8. Be yourself. For example, I am a complete Fixie novice and whilst other members don't know that they will learn, and one day be quite accepting.
   
9. Try not to react to the use of the word 'Fixie'. Newbies know it annoys you. If you don't react to it you'll save yourself the inevitable grief.
   
10. Never give advice if you're an ageing courier. (TBH I didn't, and still don't, get this one).
    
11. Try and appreciate the sections are like a guide to a Newbie and posts can sit anywhere yet still be relevant. ;)
    
12. Newbies can't spell. Newbies don't care. Have you tried composing a long note on an N series Nokia? Newbies have.
    
    

;)

Well done.
Buy yourself a cake x

As someone who often re-edits other people's posts for comic effect, I'd like to take the opportunity to say how shit your effort was.

As someone who often re-edits other people's posts for comic effect, I really need to find a more rewarding hobby.

Couldn't agree more!

1. Newbies tend not to use the Search function. Although most technical questions will already have been asked and answered they're in unfamiliar ground. It's like they're asking for directions rather than buying a map.
   
2. Many start by asking "What kind of fixed/single speed bike should I get?". They value your opinion.
   
3. Some may make their first five posts the "I am only writing this to get to five posts" variety. They will be insulted and then banned. And rightly so.
   
4. Don't get upset if you get a bit of abuse. Take it as a joke, don't be defensive or offended. Newbies can give as good as they get - they're not all humourless retards.
   
5. Look at the Members List - if you like looking at lists.
   
6. Don't make your every post an expression of your prejudices.
   
7. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't take yourself too seriously. A bit of self-mockery will help you no end.
   
8. Be yourself. For example, I am a complete Fixie novice and whilst other members don't know that they will learn, and one day be quite accepting.
   
9. Try not to react to the use of the word 'Fixie'. Newbies know it annoys you. If you don't react to it you'll save yourself the inevitable grief.
   
10. Never give advice if you're an ageing courier. (TBH I didn't, and still don't, get this one).
    
11. Try and appreciate the sections are like a guide to a Newbie and posts can sit anywhere yet still be relevant. ;)
    
12. Newbies can't spell. Newbies don't care. Have you tried composing a long note on an N series Nokia? Newbies have.
    ;)
    
    

1. They've joined the forum.. that's more like subscribing to a GPS download service than asking directions and it's free so expect some ads or shit or both.
   
2. They value our opinion but what of our time ho ho
   
3. No argument here, Chop.
   
4. Wrong, they are all humourless retards.. until we learn 'em good.
   
5. I just want to take this opportunity to say hi to my family back home.
   
6. Racist!
   
7. Give that man a cigar!
   
8. Some of us might be. hippy is a cunt though.
   
9. Fixie fixie fixie is fine but fixed gear/wheel is better. Never let crash tell you otherwise.
   
10. Old couriers don't die, they just get fa[s]s[s]tter.
    
11. I'm going to kill you.
    
12. No effort on your part = no effort on our part. You don't have to be shakespeare but this isn't a 13yo's mobile phone emporium either.
    

I'm a talentless po-faced dullard.

You're not wrong.

. No effort on your part = no effort on our part. You don't have to be shakespeare but this isn't a 13yo's mobile phone emporium either.

joining a forum + posting a question is making an effort. good spelling is a bonus, but highly overrated on an internet forum IMO.

overrated is the wrong word :/

You're not wrong.

You are though... Earlier you wrote that you edited posts for comic effect? House of Commons style name calling is hardly that funny is it?

P.s. Knob jokes are much more my level - see if you can do better with another go.

P.p.s. I'm also Ginger. You can really go to town on that I bet. :P

'underrated'?

. No effort on your part = no effort on our part. You don't have to be shakespeare but this isn't a 13yo's mobile phone emporium either.

joining a forum + posting a question is making an effort. good spelling is a bonus, but highly overrated on an internet forum IMO.

Firefox has built-in spell checking.. it ain't hard. I'm not being nazi about it but logic dictates if we can't decipher someone's post, they're gonna get less help.

1. They've joined the forum.. that's more like subscribing to a GPS download service than asking directions and it's free so expect some ads or shit or both.
   
2. They value our opinion but what of our time ho ho
   
3. No argument here, Chop.
   
4. Wrong, they are all humourless retards.. until we learn 'em good.
   
5. I just want to take this opportunity to say hi to my family back home.
   
6. Racist!
   
7. Give that man a cigar!
   
8. Some of us might be. hippy is a cunt though.
   
9. Fixie fixie fixie is fine but fixed gear/wheel is better. Never let crash tell you otherwise.
   
10. Old couriers don't die, they just get fa[s]s[s]tter.
    
11. I'm going to kill you.
    
12. No effort on your part = no effort on our part. You don't have to be shakespeare but this isn't a 13yo's mobile phone emporium either.
    
    

1. You give your time as you wish. If you don't want to give your time to such a topic don't click on the thread link that says "What Fixie - Plug or Steamroller?" or similar. Or if you do click it and don't want to answer, then don't.
   
2. Are you calling me a humourless retard?
   
3. Ok.
   
4. I only wish I'd posted this in "Bike's and Bits".
   
5. I hope that was deliberate. ;) P.s. Shakespeare. ;)
   

Firefox has built-in spell checking.. it ain't hard. I'm not being nazi about it but logic dictates if we can't decipher someone's post, they're gonna get less help.

A spelling mistake won't stop you deciphering someone's post. Maybe the forum Oldies need to re-draw the distinction between a post with a couple of typos + psts wrtn wd txt spk.

Edit. P.s. I use FF, and I have the spell checker installed. Life's to short though. Really. It is. I don't Iron either - same reason.

P.p.s. I'm also Ginger. You can really go to town on that I bet. :P

I don't know, this doesn't look like such fun. For starters, they're not riding bikes.

YouTube - ginger town

YouTube - ginger town again

A spelling mistake won't stop you deciphering someone's post. Maybe the forum Oldies need to re-draw the distinction between a post with a couple of typos + psts wrtn wd txt spk.

Edit. P.s. I use FF, and I have the spell checker installed. Life's to short though. Really. It is. I don't Iron either - same reason.

could not agree more. lets be friends.

1. You give your time as you wish. If you don't want to give your time to such a topic don't click on the thread link that says "What Fixie - Plug or Steamroller?" or similar. Or if you do click it and don't want to answer, then don't.
   
2. Are you calling me a humourless retard?
   
3. Ok.
   
4. I only wish I'd posted this in "Bike's and Bits".
   
5. I hope that was deliberate. ;) P.s. Shakespeare. ;)
   
   

No, because those threads take over from other threads more deserving of people's time.
I don't call people names, it's so immature, ya knobber.
Indeed.
I kill you twice.
Like I said, I'm no spelling nazi, just don't be completely ridiculous with the language.

A spelling mistake won't stop you deciphering someone's post. Maybe the forum Oldies need to re-draw the distinction between a post with a couple of typos + psts wrtn wd txt spk.
Edit. P.s. I use FF, and I have the spell checker installed. Life's to short though. Really. It is. I don't Iron either - same reason.

For the record, I'm not correcting people's spelling (unless it's funny).
I don't have time to iron, I'm too busy typing replies to noobs. :)

You are though... Earlier you wrote that you edited posts for comic effect? House of Commons style name calling is hardly that funny is it?

P.s. Knob jokes are much more my level - see if you can do better with another go.

P.p.s. I'm also Ginger. You can really go to town on that I bet. :P

I don't know what the House of Commons has to do with anything. All I did was label you correctly.

I'm not interested in making a joke out of someone's ethnicity or genetic make-up.

You're boring me. You'll never be a Torpid Construct, or even a Wapping Warrior.

For the record, I'm not correcting people's spelling (unless it's funny).
I don't have time to iron, I'm too busy typing replies to noobs. :)

This ironing thing came up recently. But, as the excerpt below suggests, there may be something to be said for this activity.

http://www.amazon.com/Elephant-Vanishes-Stories-Haruki-Murakami/dp/product-description/0679750533

None of these web-sites are even remotely worth visiting. I have to conclude there's probably really no point in going to town on this.

http://gingertownblog.blogspot.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buderim_Ginger_Factory

http://gingertown.org/

http://www.quizilla.com/stories/8082132/more-than-just-friends-trunks-love-story-ch-sixteen

"Since I arrived in Ginger Town, I've been fighting this creature from the future which is actually an Android created by Dr. Gero."

http://tinyurl.com/5c58gt

**DragonBall Z: His Name is Cell **
The monstrous creature that has laid siege upon Ginger Town is Cell, a futuristic android created by the evil Dr. Gero. The Super Namek, now "reduced" to its original form as Piccolo continues to do battle against Cell, while Kami and Trunks rush to Piccolo's aid. It looks bad for the Z-Fighters as Cell destroys a fleet of army tanks that has likewise come to the rescue. But in the midst of all this bad news, Goku miraculously begins to regain his health and strength. "His Name Is Cell" was first seen in Japan in 1992; the episode made its American TV debut on October 9, 2000. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

I don't get it.