Advice for Old Members

Welcome to the LFGSS. It may not always seem like it but apparently the forum is actually a friendly place full of kind and helpful people - you may even be one of them. I am relatively new here myself and have pissed off almost everyone I've encountered, most often for spelling things wrong, so I've plagiarised this to help you get the most from your newbies and to stop you getting off on the wrong foot with them.

1. Newbies tend not to use the Search function. Although most technical questions will already have been asked and answered they're in unfamiliar ground. It's like they're asking for directions rather than buying a map.
   
2. Many start by asking "What kind of fixed/single speed bike should I get?". They value your opinion.
   
3. Some may make their first five posts the "I am only writing this to get to five posts" variety. They will be insulted and then banned. And rightly so.
   
4. Don't get upset if you get a bit of abuse. Take it as a joke, don't be defensive or offended. Newbies can give as good as they get - they're not all humourless retards.
   
5. Look at the Members List - if you like looking at lists.
   
6. Don't make your every post an expression of your prejudices.
   
7. Be funny. If you can't be funny then at least don't take yourself too seriously. A bit of self-mockery will help you no end.
   
8. Be yourself. For example, I am a complete Fixie novice and whilst other members don't know that they will learn, and one day be quite accepting.
   
9. Try not to react to the use of the word 'Fixie'. Newbies know it annoys you. If you don't react to it you'll save yourself the inevitable grief.
   
10. Never give advice if you're an ageing courier. (TBH I didn't, and still don't, get this one).
    
11. Try and appreciate the sections are like a guide to a Newbie and posts can sit anywhere yet still be relevant. ;)
    
12. Newbies can't spell. Newbies don't care. Have you tried composing a long note on an N series Nokia? Newbies have.
    
    

;)