Lmao

[FONT=Trebuchet MS]There is a God. He rides a bike and I saw him in action today.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]I was toodling down the middle of a narrowish road on my way home from work tonight. [/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Standard set up: Two lines of stationary cars with a clear avenue in the middle. No bother at all.[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]The queue in my direction was caused by a parked van.[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]As I approached the lead car waiting to pass the van ( one of those Mazda hairdresser sporty things) The driver half climbed out of the window (soft to up as it was raining) and shouted at me "wait your f***ing turn like the rest of us". [/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]I stopped to avoid hitting him and being a little taken aback said (highly original this) "pardon?” He then launched into a [/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS]colourful[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS] diatribe on my parentage, sexual orientation, penis size etc etc (you know, lots of monosybalics ending in k and T)[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Anyway, [/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS]realising[/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS] that he was in fact a total cnut I told him to get a life and toodled off past the parked van.[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]About 200m down the road are a series of speed humps. The first two are pretty pathetic but the third is an absolute beauty.[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]As I was about 50m from the third hump I heard a dramatic revving of engine followed by an equally dramatic slidy braking noise. I looked round and saw Mr Hairdresser clear the second hump and accelerate like a banshee towards the third, he passed me mouthing (I assume) insults and gesticulating wildly.[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Straight into the third hump. [/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]There was an almighty clang/grind/crunch and it all went quite.[/FONT]
[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Everyone just stared in amazement as a pool of oil started to spread from under the car.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]I was laughing so much I had to sit on the kerb before I fell off my bike, it was so bad I could hardly breathe, and I was not alone. A fair few peds also found it highly amusing.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Mr Mazda got out, looked under the car, stood up and looked towards me and started screaming, really full on screaming. I was in tears.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]I have never laughed so much; I thought I was going to piss myself.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]At which point a pedaling plod appeared from the opposite direction and took charge of Mr. hysterical.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Jumped back on my bike and trundled past the pair of them (I was having trouble keeping a straight line I was still laughing so much).[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]I caught the words "warning and public order" from plod as I carried on my merry way.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]As said, there really is a God.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Trebuchet MS]Toodle pip [/FONT]
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