Losing it?

Chill Hippy Chill. Remember your breathing exercises!

The ones where I asphyxiate a small animal?

The ones where I asphyxiate a small animal?

Us gentlemen all have a name for ours.
But you really should come up with something better than small animal :)

Don't get me wrong, I still feel anger from time to time, but I've given up 'losing it'.

One day you're wrenching your own soul out and repeatedly slapping the world in the face with it; the next, you're quietly looking at your family's astonishlingly consistent track record in the having-a-massive-stroke-and-dying-before-you-hit-60 department, and deciding to CTFD.

send me the picture i might have the tool you need hippy... just the tool!

@Melon - I am with you on the phones. fucking hate using them, i leave them off or on silent. Once I was heading to my parents for christmas i lost it as my phone kept dropping the connection, i was trying to tell my mother i got the later train.. it was packed, standing surrounded by bags for 4 hours.
"hello Mum.. yeah ok quickly..BEEEEEEPPPP"
"Mum, quick. the train.. what? can't that wait?..BEEEEEP"
"Mum. Yes i know, its the mobile.. i haven't got time to explain.. BEEEEEP"
"Mum shut up i missed tNBEEEEEEEP"

after about 10 attempts i flipped in this busy carriage i went to throw it at the carriage wall when i saw all the people attempt to dive out the way so i head butted door frame, grabbed the phone with both hands, put the end in my mouth and bit it so fucking hard the thing split!

I then grabbed the beer from my carrier bag, smashed the glass trying to get the fucking top off and cut my hand, and sunk that beer in about 2 minutes.. one of the best tasting beers i had. by this time i looked around the carrige and the looks were fucking priceless.

• I used to lose my temper and smash keyboards with alarming regularity. I had to borrow a friend's keyboard because mine was broken; I broke that too. He was not pleased.

• I punched a really good old Sony stereo that my auntie gave me for my birthday (she'd had it for years and it was playing up), this stopped it from playing up. It also stopped it from working altogether

• I broke my £800 iBook, and I didn't even hit it hard at all. It was more 'I gently caressed it with my fist' than 'I whacked it'. Left it irrepairable (well according to the wankers at Apple anyway. They lied about what was wrong with it and tried to charge me over £700 to fix it - cunts). I neglected to insure it for accidental damage, the twat I am, so that was £800 down the drain in 0.1 seconds. God, for that kind of money, I could have gone to Amsterdam, imagine all the beer I could have bought, all the ganja I could have smoked, all the dutch whores I could have slept with... gone!

• I've thrown, punched and whacked my Toshiba Tecra laptop so hard and so many times that it should be broken, in fact the H key is missing and the screen corner is bent, but it still works fine. (This is proof that you should get a Toshiba and not a Mac, which will be irrepairably broken if you look at it funny)

• I have now calmed down and stopped hitting computers and stuff when they piss me off. On the rare occasions that I do get pissed off my a computer I leave it and have a break, or if it's really infuriating I hit the desk instead. Much less likely to break!

• Mobile phones though! Fuck 'em! I bought a really nice nokia a few years ago but after a while something about it started pissing me off. I can't remember what it was, but it eventually pissed me off so much that when I was cycling along trying to dial someone and failing, I lost my temper, shouted "fuck it! piece of shit!" and threw the phone hard onto the road and rode off. I then calmed down, rode back to retrieve the sim card from amongst the phone fragments, embarrassed about what a stupid thing that was to do (and how much money I'd spent on that phone...)

• I broke that tough waterproof nokia 'builder's phone' by throwing it against the wall - can't remember why though.

• I broke my nice sony erricson because, well. I had set the alarm to repeat every weekday at 7.30. It worked fine for ages. I never cancelled that alarm, ever, because I never had any need to cancel it. There is no way that the daily alarm could be 'un-set' unless someone manually cancelled it. I normally take two phones to bed in case one decides not to go off (it's happened before). The one day that I risked going to to bed with just the one phone, the alarm doesn't fucking go off?!!?! Making me an hour late for work. I checked the alarm just to make sure, and of course it showed that the alarm was set for 730, so why didn't it go off? It was like the phone was mocking me: "haha! look at me, i'm set to wake you up at 730 and it's now 830, i didnt do what you asked and i dont have to explain why! ner ner!" I angrily threw the phone at the wall before furiously getting ready for work. It still works, except the screen shows nothing but white light.

• Non fury-related phone breakage: I had another nokia 'builder's phone'. Went out, got pissed, came back, got stoned, made a cup of tea, lay down on the sofa and started texting a girl. I couldn't think what to say, and before I knew it, I had woken up the next morning thinking "hmmm I never did finish writing that text to that girl - I must have fallen asleep while I was writing it, but where is my phone?". Of course, just my fucking luck, it was in the cup of tea that I'd made. Fell out my hand as I nodded off, landed right in the fucking cup. I should have written to nokia to suggest that they make their so-called 'tough' phones tea-proof as well as waterproof - after all, it's marketed at builders, and builders do drink a lot of tea.

i wonder if you forgot to reset the time of the alarm when the clocks change?

i wonder if you forgot to reset the time of the alarm when the clocks change?

Nah it was nothing to do with that, it wasn't at either time of year when clock changes occur, and I always remember to change all the clocks anyway. Besides, it happened on a Tuesday or Wednesday, clocks change Sunday mornin.

I lost it when my mum died. But ever since I've managed to put things in perspective. I work for a lot of people who aren't as clever as I am and subsequently have to manage a fair bit of shit but I do it with a smile. As most of you have pointed out its usually you who suffers most from losing it. Older men grumble - much healthier.

Us gentlemen all have a name for ours.
But you really should come up with something better than small animal :)

That's clever that is.
Too clever.
You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

send me the picture i might have the tool you need hippy... just the tool!

Seriously or is that some local humour I'll never understand?

I'm not sure computers and peripherals respond to violence. Intimidation perhaps, but violence no.

what about percussive maintenance?

I used to get pretty stressed over nothing all the time. After a while, I thought "I probably look like a twat". So I have been trying to think things through before hand.

I saw some guy in my old job being stressed over nothing all the time and he did in fact look like a twat.

I look like a twat, stressed or not.

does anybody else 'lose-it' every now and again?
i have just smashed my printer to bit's while trying to get it to do what i want. i was trying to print off an email without all the headers and footers but for some reason it was too big and the printer was trying to do it landscape and cutting off the end of words.
as a result of this i banged my fist down on top of the printer causing the plastic cover to bounce off, this didn't make my printout any better so i used the plastic cover as a motivational device to beat the crap out of the printer while repeatedly shouting the word 'Cunt', i did this several times until the plastic cover smashed into pieces.
i felt a bit better after that.

it can't just be me who does things like this?

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

I get pretty stressed when something isn't working and I cannot comprehend why. For example my iPod - I ejected it(as you're supposed to) and it fucking froze. Then the master reset combination didn't work for some cunting reason. This somehow caused my computer to hang/crash. I got so pissed off I started punching the ipod and keyboard.

Fucking apple
I fucking hate computers/pretty much all gadgets.

my boss lost the plot today I have no idea what about
but cellphone got thrown, this hole and another hole got put in door by my desk
when the door caught and didn't open straight away.

hmmmn date on the camera is wrong, maybe that was his problem

I used to work for a boss like that. Massive cokehead, and generally spoilt twat. He pinned me up against a wall and accused me of sleeping with his girlfriend - me and her worked alone at a different site.

I pointed out that, funnily enough, I was about the only male employee at the company not to have fucked her.

Then I steeled myself for a punch in the face, but he just fell to his knees and started sobbing into my crotch.

Happy days.

lol
how do you get yourself into these situations? Where were you working?

yeah mine is full of great things like that,
basically accused everyone of stealing instant coffee because it went down faster than normal the other week.
guy got a ashtray thrown at him the other week. (with cigar ash in it)

"sobbing into my crotch"

Dwell on that.

lol
how do you get yourself into these situations? Where were you working?

Radio 2, clearly...

I got somewhat upset one day at the office due to someone not saying goodbye when we finished a telephone conversation. I proceeded to put my fist through not one, not two, but through 3 21" monitors on the desk.

Funnily enough I later found out that some of my mates were betting as to when (note: not IF) this would finally happen. Someone won 70quid for it.

I'm happy to say I have been reborn since finding the Evangelic Church and no longer have any anger management problems of any sort...

lol
how do you get yourself into these situations? Where were you working?

By being disenfranchised, on the whole.

It was an 'ethical' clothing company called 'Disappearing Earth', based in Camden/Walthamstow, in the early 90s. They gave 10% of their profit to the WWF. I was working cash in hand for £4/hour.

So ethical in fact, that it was born out of a bootleg screenprinting operation, and the unbleached blank tees were made in sweatshops in Turkey.

Needless to say, they're long gone.

I resented my last boss, she made Sarah Palin look bright.

On my last day, she came to me with a personal Job: "Rob, could you have these tapes digitized. They're of my daughters winning some pony competition and I'd like them burnt to DVD. But please be very careful not to lose them, as they're very precious to me"

You can guess the rest

You took them home and masturbated over them?

(sorry, was that bad... it did feel a little bit bad)