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@Object
Okay here's the deal, I'll pay you an annual wage of 34k GBP pa, back dated to the date of your message. You will ride everywhere I say.
For hooking you up with some nice scenery I will charge you an administartive fee of £100.00 per day plus 2.5K annual membership to the Object is a cunt Foundation. All fees are payable in advance.
Based on you riding for me every day of the year (I do not accept holiday requests) you owe 100(GBP) * 365 (days) = 36,500 (GBP) + 2,500 (Membership) = 39,000 (GBP). Ergo you owe me five thousand pounds.
Please paypal me the funds to whataloadofshit@fuckyou.com