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@CYOA
I have to say, I've had two rather bad experiences with buses/drivers so far this week but asides from that it hasn't been bad. Particularly outside of London.
1st
Single decker bus following me south down green lanes towards haringey rail station. Cars parked on either side of the road, lots of oncoming traffic. It's raining so I'm not going so fast and am not going to be bullied into the edge so he's unable to overtake for about 150 yards. Then he sees an opening and zooms past only to slam his brakes on and pull left in front of me as he notices a bus stop with passengers waiting about 30ft in front of him.
I skid to stop and narrowly avoid hitting the bus and the oncoming traffic. I cycle up to his window and knock on it so ask what he was doing. He replies by mouthing obscenities and utilising the age-old hand gesture implying he is polishing one off and then honks his horn repeatedly.
I shot him 7 times in the head.
(I might have embellished a bit for the conclusion)
2nd
Cycling NORTH up green lanes (a lot of my cycling takes place here it seems) from manor house towards haringey railway station with finsbury park on my left. Had a new hub on with gearing I'm not used to and was coming down the hill at quite a pace, spinning a hell of a lot.
Trying not to die is a struggle in itself and I certainly didn't need a bus driver deciding to turn right into my path at the bottom when he clearly had no time to do so. Not only was there **literally ** about 40 feet of space between the car in front of me and the two cars right behind me but he was already past the light so it wasn't as if he had to wait for long. He drove straight through and I had to skid again to avoid a close up view of the side of a bus. My tire got ripped and I was so incensed I didn't know quite what to do apart from run after him. So I ran.
I did actually get lucky and catch up with him just as he was pulling away from a bus stop further down the road. (Note I'm actually running in the middle of the road at this time and not on the pavement and am getting more and more furious with each stride so when I draw up to him and start slamming on his driver window shouting gibberish at him I think he did the obvious thing. He drove off. At speed.
That's when I pulled out a rocket launcher and blew the shit out of him.