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@Archie's_Grobags
Up a couple of chairs!!! WTF?
Yeah, i can picture the scene when the ambulance crew turns up...
"So then mr Slack....how EXACTLY did you come to be lying here with a broken back,your trousers round your ankles,a fractured knob,and a chair leg 15 inches up your anus?"
"Oh, ya know...just changing the light bulb"
;)