How to answer the question, "where's yer brakes?"

i have NEVER ever ever been asked about my brakes!
i dont know why but people dont seem to notice?

replace "head" with "brakes" and you get what you need :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4hFwJm41h4

That tune's a chooon
Love it
And it works

You calling me a cunt?
I hate hippies.

Ps. I live in a cold, hard corner of Leeds at the mo, and ride around the dales and moors. No shopping centres there.

Notice the comma up there? No, of course you didn't..

you cunt.

I'm not a hippy. :-*

*I'm not a hippy. :-**

just a seething,writhing mass of anger and hate :^]

and back pain.. you forgot the back pain!

Seething, writhing mass of anger, hate and back pain. Ahh

OI feel my legs! my feet are connected to a fixed drive train with legs like mine. brakes are for pussys?

"your mum"

one time in Clapham a very new roadie pointed out that I have no brake (I just brought the bike, couldn't even afford brake on it yet so was cycling it back to Wimbledon), that bloke look like he work in I.T. so when he went to ask the question while we're in motion, my respond is;

"oh it's voice command, watch this; STOP" (promptly slow down immediately).

the worrying thing is that I think he actually did believe that the bike is voice command.

I try to explain that I slow down with my legs and don't need brakes, no one gets that - then I just say 'you wouldn't understand'.

"here, on my handlebars"

ditto

right here. *points

but still never been asked, despite riding breakless.

Ed, you are a genius.
If rep existed, you'd get some.

where's yer brakes?

up yer arse!!

'shove it where i shit'!!!!

Whilst not related to brakes, the peak of my wit abilities occurred when a PCSO instructed me to walk rather than cycle down Briggate in leeds. As i cruised by I lazily retorted:
"why do I need to walk? i've got a bike"
spent the rest of my ride expecting a karma crash for my smugness

"I don't need them, I have a brain"?

That just made me scared about my ride home!

"Shit, they have gone! Which cunt took those!? Quick mate - help me out.. throw yourself in front of me to help slow me down?"

I have two rim brakes so not quite applicable but whenever anyone asks me what 'the attraction' is of riding fixed (and I haven't even ridden fixed that much yet) I do mention that it basically gives me an additional brake. So I have three! It must be safe! Yes!

I have two rim brakes so not quite applicable but whenever anyone asks me what 'the attraction' is of riding fixed (and I haven't even ridden fixed that much yet) I do mention that it basically gives me an additional brake. So I have three! It must be safe! Yes!

Good answer.

See also: puking on them.

Avoid the question at all by actually fitting some. It might just work

"Braking is just another form of social control"

Now this is just crazy talk

**How to answer the question, "where's yer underpants?"
Much more relevant in this day of terrorist scaremongering and crunchy credit. Diss and cuss.
**