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@shootthebreeze
damn!
sounds pretty serious. don't like the sound of the "lots of mess" bit.
It can be upsetting just witnessing the aftermath of an accident, so, i know what you mean.
I think you need to get back on the bike, and just ride safe and sensibly. Or maybe cycle, where possible, with another person, or on a route that avoids as much as possible, busy roads, junctions etc. I realise this may be hard, but it will probably, slowly, help reinstate a degree of confidence.