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  • "Dear owner,

    Due to a massive fuck-off bonus you poverty-striken streak of piss surplus of money in the City, my client is interested in buying you out, shitting in your mums gob, then turning Shoreditch into an even more wretched concentration of souless terrace/loft conversions investing in your area.

    Please call on Mike on 020 7033 1414 to discuss this exciting opportunity.

    Regards,

    Mike Cunt,
    Foxtons"

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