C*nt on LY07UVR, a red and white motorbike

I had a very similar thing this morning.
Was riding in a cycle lane, going past a bus- so no vision as to what would pull into my path, and an absolute cunt of a motorbiker pulls over into the cycle lane- not to stop or anything, but to move past the traffic. I jam on the brakes and give him a mouthful of compliments, and the bastard has the gall to blame me, in a fucking cycle lane.
He starts challenging me to a fight, and riding alongside me, and then trying to make me stop.
eventually i legged it away through heavy traffic, but it was getting to the stage that I was truly worried he was gonna go straight for me.

just goes to show- don't shoot your mouth off, even if you think(know) you're in the right.

but an absolute cunt nonetheless.

Sorry I think I forgot to mention this earlier: LY07 UVR is a complete and utter cunt.
I have heard unsubstantiated rumours that the Honda in question has never been serviced, and has been routinely used for uninsured track days.

there's grafitti round my way that says "your dead" instead of "you're dead" it always makes me titter...I used to be the manager of said Brixton establishment...saw quite a few things.

That's funny - like people misspelling graffiti :p

There's graffiti round my way that says "If you correct grafiti your a cunt" - it's a real dilemma.

I've had a go at a couple of scooter cunts before. Don't really recall any proper motos getting angry.
Then again most of the moto riders are in the far right and never get near me.

push them over if they get aggro, they hate that

push them over if they get aggro, they hate that

Thought of that- 85 kilos of me plus 7 kilos of bike vs 80 kilos of him plus 180 kilos of bike.

I clearly need to swig HTFU and go for it next time I see him.

I am ashamed of my girlish ways.

EDIT: no idea what motorbikes weigh, seemed reasonable as an estimate

When I worked in the job centre I had to tell this maniac his giro had been cancelled.
He told me if he didn't get it he would cut me up into small pieces and send me home in bin liners to my mother. I told him he was a cunt and he should get a job.

Next thing I knew, he had me pinned against the wall by my neck and was pretty much about to kill me. Luckily there were some equally crazy people working there so it all ended reasonably peacefully.

But yeah there are some nutters out there

A student told me he was going to "snuff me out" when I worked in the library.

I laughed and said, "oooooh, like a candle."

He said, "what the fuck are you talking about - candles?"

It really annoys me when people use death threats that they don't even understand.

Thought of that- 85 kilos of me plus 7 kilos of bike vs 80 kilos of him plus 180 kilos of bike.

I clearly need to swig HTFU and go for it next time I see him.

I am ashamed of my girlish ways.

EDIT: no idea what motorbikes weigh, seemed reasonable as an estimate

I know a 125cc bike weighs around a 100kg so that sounds realistic.

The fact is even with a 125cc bike/scooter that I have ridden (dont lynch me) once it starts falling over its hard to stop it.

If you push his bike a nudge you would take him down easily, he would either get stuck under the bike or have a moementary spaz moment rying to jump off while keeping the bike upright, at which he would deifinetely fail. Possibly twisting an arm.

Its win win, and provides enough time for a d-lock clobbering and running away.

I told him he was a cunt and he should get a job.

Haha, epic retort!

Its win win, and provides enough time for a d-lock clobbering and running away.

Sadly on the road bike I don't carry a lock- will not leave it anywhere.

Right- I'm off to bed so that this will all be just another memory that fades into the distance.

He's still a cunt though.

I'll swear at a cabby tomorrow for ya. Sweet dreams..

Last week a car in the right lane tried to overtake all the traffic but realised 10 metres later that he couldn't go any further as there was a big light shining red in his path so decided to swerve back into the left lane.

The only problem, I was in the left lane.

I looked at him and did my usual "HEY!!!"

He took his earphones carefully out of his ears and and spat at the window " SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!".

I chuckled and the French insult "du con" popped into my head. I just kept on repeating "du con". I felt much better.

A student told me he was going to "snuff me out" when I worked in the library.

I laughed and said, "oooooh, like a candle."

He said, "what the fuck are you talking about - candles?"

It really annoys me when people use death threats that they don't even understand.

haha i love your comeback

i carry weapons....:p i wonder if I could tie my spanner with my headset spanner to make a nunchuk...

Could this be the winner of "Most gratuitous use of 'cunt' in a thread for a single evening" award?
There's a lot of bile here boys and girls. Keep it up. It'll help cycling up North Hill.

As my mum once said to me: "Swearing's for cunts"

So to this day I keep my language pretty fucking clean.

Ly07uvr

I just realise how the number plate said "lover".

What gets to me with motorcyclists and mopeds is they now have made the ASLs THEIR territory and the way they park themselves puts us in dangerous positions.

Yesterday in one we were 3 cyclists vs 7 of them.

in that situation i tend to ride out to the front and then block the fucker whilst obliviously mucking around

we are not all bad just some of the cocks who pass there test then go buy a brand new bike to go with there new biker look and attitude. he wont be on it for long he'll get bored or better yet pick a fight with someone bigger than him and splat. oh and i am one of the better bikers i actually watch were i'm going and whats infront of me/behind me/around me. next time nick his keys :)

That's funny - like people mispelling graffiti :p

you'd better be sure you spelt "misspelling" correctly...

in that situation i tend to ride out to the front and then block the fucker whilst obliviously mucking around

I do that too. I also like getting in front of them and then lining my bike exactly in line with theirs. God that drives them bezerk.

Also there's the

Me: "Can you read?"
Motorcyclist: "What?!"
Me: "Can you read?"
Motorcyclist: "Yeah!" (bewildered)
Me: "Then go read Highway Code 178 you [insult du jour] and stay the fuck out of the cycle lanes!"

I love that. Starts my day out right.

When I worked in the job centre .... I told him he was a cunt and he should get a job.

Love it! Man we need More like you under the Government.

Mike the nurse - "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and harden up you sick cunt"
Mike the Policeman - "Ave it you slag" - before dishing out a goiod shoeing
Mike the Social Worker - "sort your fucking head out and keep you knickers on for a change.. cunt!"

Stand for Haringey. I'll vote ;)

There is no need to get angry peeps. Scooter drivers are not manly enough for real bikes and to unfit to cycle. and to top it off they have this delusion of Euro-chiq. just laugh at them and leave them to these few facts that haunt their minds all day...

you'd better be sure you spelt "misspelling" correctly...

You sneaky fucker.

Anyway, what's 'spelt' got to do with anything?