Cockney Rhyming Slang, Translator for the imidgrents.

Fixed (gear) = queer
Bottle (boss) = toss
Over(shoe) = poo
Puncture (repair kit) = shit
Side(wall) = ball
Sloping (top tube) = boob
D(-lock) = cock

:D very amusing

I'm only 6 and a 1/2 years old.

One of my favs

Uncle Dick = Sick: 'All this stopping and starting is making me feel a bit uncle'

tom tit = shit
tommy tank = wank
george raftin = shaftin'
harry monk = spunk (stolen by rude boyz and used for "skunk")
harry bollocks = bollocks
jimmy hole = arse
gary glitter = shitter ("ere, I 'eard she takes it up the gary") can also be used:
deacon blue = poo ("scuse me mate, where's yer gary, as I need a deacon before me jimmy falls off") jimmy also:
jimmy riddle = widdle ("just off for a james, might need a tom tit too")

dirty girty = £30

james blunt

james blunt

but that's not rhyming slang, like Gareth Hunt = Cunt.

james blunt just IS a cunt

Look at the bollocks on that = she has large tits

Cocky Star fish = the A hole

Stairs = apples and pairs, as in "I'm trying to eat my 5-a-day, so I went to Waitrose and bought some stairs".

Look at the bollocks on that = she has large tits

top bollocks = tits

or if you prefer Bristol Cities, "Look at the Bristols on that!"

and Orchestra Stalls = balls

some of my skippy mates have a good one to describe a woman:

"Potates" <- potato <- potato peeler <- sheila.

And if she's a good looker, she's a Kerry Potate, after 1970's north melbourne footballer Kerry Good.

"Nice potates over there"

• kerry?
  "Yep" (hopefully)
  

allen's

Jack and Danny

farmer giles

Ha ha! I've turned up just in time to be Translator For Timid Gents!

Harry (Potter books are a load of utter cock) - D-Lock
Crop (circles in a North Lincolnshire field) Windshield

Very important.

trouble and saucepans

=

wife and kids

Bubble & Squeak

JC has well and truly supplanted James Blunt (a contender for a while).

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2018/jun/25/jeremy-hunt-name-curse-strikes-again-at-bbc

Edit: I hadn't seen 'Gareth Hunt' above, don't know why he was in the frame.

I’m not really a fan of mockney rhyming slang but I would be really quite pleased if using ‘the Nige’ or ‘the Nigel’ as a reference for the/a garage became common parlance.
It’s obviously really quite shit and in itself not particularly funny, but if, in 50 years time, that was the sole reason any reference to the rubbery faced dog twat existed then that would be fine by me.

Your a bit mum mate !

Mum and Dad = mad.

Uncle Dick = Sick: 'All this stopping and starting is making me feel a bit uncle'

Was Tom and Dick in the olden days.