Human shit on the handle bars and saddle = safe bike.
Hah! I used to operate a similar system to stop people from borrowing the towel that I left in the shower room at uni. I just left a note next to it inviting them to help themselves, but warning them that I had herpes.
Incidentally, a friend of mine found her stolen bike on Gumtree (didn't realize this was such a frequent occurrence!), agreed to meet the seller, happened to run into a gang of Transport Police on the way over, and inadvertently became the bait in a massive police sting. So sometimes they are worth the paper they're printed on...
Hah! I used to operate a similar system to stop people from borrowing the towel that I left in the shower room at uni. I just left a note next to it inviting them to help themselves, but warning them that I had herpes.
Incidentally, a friend of mine found her stolen bike on Gumtree (didn't realize this was such a frequent occurrence!), agreed to meet the seller, happened to run into a gang of Transport Police on the way over, and inadvertently became the bait in a massive police sting. So sometimes they are worth the paper they're printed on...