Coppers ain't so bad...

Suddenly, one of them ran up to me and smacked me right across the bum, and then ran away.
...
So I caught the kid, I was yelling at him, and dragging him down the street by his hoodie because I wanted to go yell at his friends too. (During this time, my brain registered the possibility that these kids might have knives, but it estimated the probability to be low... plus I was too furious to care.) The kid was scared and extremely apologetic... he didn't try to pull away, didn't try to kick me, he just kept apologizing and answered all my questions: "How old are you?" "You think this is funny?" "Did your friends dare you to do this?" "Do you have a mother? A sister? How would you like it if somebody did this to them?" He was so scared and apologetic that I forgave him pretty quickly... but I wanted to find his friends and yell at them, because I was certain this stunt was their idea.
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As I dragged him down the street by his hoodie, a people carrier full of 6 or 7 police officers happened to drive past, and they stopped to ask what was going on. I explained what had happened. The senior officer present insisted on arresting him, and told me I had to come down to HQ with them to make a statement.
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I was shocked by the extremity of his reaction... I was like, "Is that really necessary? He's just a 13-year-old kid!"
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I felt so bad about the whole thing that I cried. Maybe I'm being naiive, but I don't think he was bad, he was just a silly kid who got dared to pull a silly stunt by his silly friends. Perhaps it's all in my head, but I also got the feeling that he probably did it to gain acceptance and street cred with the cooler kids. By getting caught (by a girl) and getting arrested, he's just going to get teased and bullied more than ever.
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The police even called me later that evening to give me an update. The kid had "confessed" everything, his father had picked him up and was none too happy with him.
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So yeah... I was really surprised by how nice the cops were, I just wasn't sure if a 13-year-old smacking my ass was really worth the time and effort of a full-on arrest. The disrespect of the behavior aside, he obviously had excellent taste in women...

Please don't ever feel bad about making an example of some little scrote like this - most likely he is on the way to becoming 'just a silly kid who got dared to pull a silly stunt by his silly friends' - probably in a few years time a silly stunt like knifing someone, or raping a girl. The resultant parental intervention is the best obstacle to that, and probably wouldn't have happened had the police not intervened. The police turning up on a parent's doorstep is obviously going to have far more impact than you would.

This could have all been avoided if you had your bike and just rode home. That fat kid would never have had a chance to get anywhere near your booty.

They're worse when you're on your bike I find - had my arse smacked by some little shit who was part of a gang blocking my path in Victoria Park, had to go slow to get through.

I also got a football kicked at me while I was playing polo (knocked me clean off too!) - chased the little cunts out of the court screaming (er, that'd be me screaming) and d-locked them out. They proceeded to chuck branches onto our polo court. Luckily one of their dads was passing and took them home. Although they returned for the next few weeks, they had legitimately got to the court first but were more polite.

Any opportunity you have to (safely) make an example of them is a very good thing.