Lost and Confused...

Since last summer I slowly got a bike together,

it took a while with my limited budget, but finally got it perfect.

It by far exceeded my expectations, being a humble old raleigh bodged into a fixed.

It really ended up absolutley perfect, for the past month I have enjoyed riding it so much, it really became part of my life (sob.. )

I really loved the lofty skinny black frame, but with nice sharp racy handling.

Everything down to the purple straps and gold brake, accented it perfectly too.

I was looking foward to a summer of riding it everywhere and furthering my cycling endeavours and generally getting fit & stuff by riding this bike.

I really thought I would have it forever.

A few days ago however, I notice the chain tension keeps slackening slightly,

I adjust my wheel a few times, and even draw a coloured circle around the wheel nut to make sure it isnt slipping.

It still goes loose, so I just accept that the chain must have stretched and plan to take a link out eventually if it gets bad.

I still keep riding the bike as much as ever.

Riding faster and more boldy down steep hills, and traffic.

For the first time Im riding a bike like a car, overtaking and using lanes etc.

Even come close to doing backward circles..

During the past week however I notice my bike making creaking noises,

I carefully check the bike over many times and can find nothing so I continue riding harder thinking it must be what a "worn in" bike sounds like!

It gets louder, so I think my cones might be loose so I finally get ready to re adjust everything yesterday.

I check the wheel, and im surprised to find its perfect like I left it.

A little confused, I spend an hour looking for some old chain tensioners so I can finally sort out chain.

FInd them, then find rivet extractor.

About to get to work, about to undo the wheel.

then....

OH FUCK!!!

I see a big snap in the driveside dropout!

its too much to take in, I damn broke my bike.

I "heart" my bike, how can it be dead?

Im just left there all confused with my tools and other bikes out, I even consider switching all the parts to a 60's vintage towny bike I have.

Several hours later I realise its all ridicoulous and put it all away.

Im left rather heartbroken, at the loss of my first "grown up bike"

Today, im just confused.

My day usually starts & ends with riding it. WIth more riding in between.

I feel lost.

Is it a sensible idea to try and re-weld it?

I should I leave it lie, as an old racer would never hack it as a street bike anyway?

I really really dont want to spend all my money on an off - the - peg.

I procrastinate ssssooo much when buying anything, but something as important as a bike Itll stress me to death trying to hunt something down that I can afford.

In the meantime, like I said - I really do not know what to do with myself.

I mean, I have to be at uni right now. But what am I suppossed to ride there, everything feels so wrong....