Another n00b who needs advice

yes, dear.

would you trust someone wearing a tie?

Ties are just a big arrow pointing to one's cock. I don't own a tie, won't wear one, and don't need to signpost my genitals.

steals BMMF's idea

£50.

PJS, you read minds my cosmic bro?

Mini-tiny-miniscule rant here.

cg5154, maybe the Giant Bowery isn't for you. However, this is what I can say about it. Its black and silver, is owned by too many people, feels heavily over-engineered (which means if you ride hard, it'll cope without whatever godammed potholes and taxis doors you throw at it), and does come in extra small which many other makes don't. Being a strong bike means that it doesn't feel as nimble as a light steel or titanium bike. But, to personalise it, you can repaint it, lighten component by component till its a as lithe as a young Seb Coe, and get thee hence to BLB and introduce yourself to some deep Vs. I don't know girlie you are, but they might even do Lavender rims, so as to seperate yourself from all the pink wheeled wanabees.

I actually think the Bowery isn't the one for you, but you're your own woman, so do whatever the hell you want. By the way, its rides well....but doesn't tippytoe around corners, it flattens them!

Whatever you buy, you'll be faster than me, so it won't matter. Enjoy.

That is a male specific bike, aimed at the middle aged, single "man about town" who can cook and washes his own clothes.

The sort of man who owns a shoe-horn and can tie a windsor knot.

Bugger! I knew I should have got one of these instead of the Fuji!

I have worn ties less than most, and always grudgingly. I have had to wear one at times as a cheese-eating demonstration of my need to pay rent.

For me the tie doesn't suggest an arrow to one's cock, rather the sarcastic tease of a hangman's noose.

I learned the windsor back in the early naughties, as an ironic response to a long-term office-dress ball-ache.

I believe I have to wear a tie tomorrow. So I'm just dusting off the few I have, trying to work out which one least says, "I haven't bought a tie for some time."

PJS, I found an austen powers tie while shopping for a present for my uncle (who is called mike myers). It had the release date of 'the spy who shagged me' on it (?!) That would be perfect for you.

I found one ages ago, trawling for tunes in a charity shop, that cracked me up enough to buy it. It was dark blue with a mysterious silver thread emblem on it, kind of like an elongated fleur de lys. Then if you caught it at the right angle you realised it said "charlesanddiana" in mirror writing.