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  • I have worn ties less than most, and always grudgingly. I have had to wear one at times as a cheese-eating demonstration of my need to pay rent.

    For me the tie doesn't suggest an arrow to one's cock, rather the sarcastic tease of a hangman's noose.

    I learned the windsor back in the early naughties, as an ironic response to a long-term office-dress ball-ache.

    I believe I have to wear a tie tomorrow. So I'm just dusting off the few I have, trying to work out which one least says, "I haven't bought a tie for some time."

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