Specialised London Lamesters

Okay here we go: a (sadly) negative thread here. I thought it would be interesting for people to air their beefs/annoyances/upsets/egobruisings about those "Londoners" (I'm including anyone you've encountered in London here - born and bred, works, lived here for a few years etc.) who decide to make a negative deal out of us enjoying our bit of fulfilment in life. I'll start off with two, one serious one just rather rude:

1) I was cycling around Peckham way last Saturday when a cabbie decided to swing wildly into bus lane with the fairly plain intent of making me plough into some parked cars. I had a standoff with him at the next lights as my buddy got the licence number and he was actually laughing when I challenged him about it, suggesting he really did do it cos he didn't like me or cyclists or both; unfortunately he couldn't beat the Clapham Slapper at its most determined and I thus berated him every lights from Peckham to Vauxhall, including when he'd just picked up a passenger, so they knew what kind of horrible person they'd be paying their money to.

**2) A rather sour woman working in a renowned Old St "proper pub" (it's a reliable kind of place..) just now started a moody rant about how I'd been pissed there three times in the last few months (er...it's a pub) by saying, "What the f*ck is with the hat?" I explained it was a cycling hat, I was a cyclist and was just having my first pint of the evening after a long day. She looked at me like I had just taken a leery dump in her handbag, then hit me with hat-based vitriol for a good five minutes. Okay so I wear a few geeky cycle caps, jeez. **

Wear this in next time..

(really: change pubs)

i get the same when I wear my cycle cap with "FUCK YEAH!" printed on the peak. what's wrong with people?

kick her in the balls, or kill her in the head.

Okay here we go: a (sadly) negative thread here. I thought it would be interesting for people to air their beefs/annoyances/upsets/egobruisings about those "Londoners" (I'm including anyone you've encountered in London here - born and bred, works, lived here for a few years etc.) who decide to make a negative deal out of us enjoying our bit of fulfilment in life. I'll start off with two, one serious one just rather rude:

1) I was cycling around Peckham way last Saturday when a cabbie decided to swing wildly into bus lane with the fairly plain intent of making me plough into some parked cars. I had a standoff with him at the next lights as my buddy got the licence number and he was actually laughing when I challenged him about it, suggesting he really did do it cos he didn't like me or cyclists or both; unfortunately he couldn't beat the Clapham Slapper at its most determined and I thus berated him every lights from Peckham to Vauxhall, including when he'd just picked up a passenger, so they knew what kind of horrible person they'd be paying their money to.

**2) A rather sour woman working in a renowned Old St "proper pub" (it's a reliable kind of place..) just now started a moody rant about how I'd been pissed there three times in the last few months (er...it's a pub) by saying, "What the f*ck is with the hat?" I explained it was a cycling hat, I was a cyclist and was just having my first pint of the evening after a long day. She looked at me like I had just taken a leery dump in her handbag, then hit me with hat-based vitriol for a good five minutes. Okay so I wear a few geeky cycle caps, jeez. **

I had two people try to run me over yesterday. The first was on my way to work with a guy in a hairdresser's car on a mini-roundabout, who called me a twat for not indicating. On a mini-roundabout. While I accept that you should generally indicate, it's a mini-round about. There is zero scope for overtaking.

Second one was some guy trying to run me into parked cars on the Essex because I'd not let him out of a turning. Might, however, have been because he had a small penis (he was driving an 04 plate BMW). Might have had a word but he a) had a full car and I think the cuntishness was for the benefit of the passengers anyway and b) I'm not a fighter.

I think that they need to pedestrianise the entire of zones 1 & 2. Or at least extend the congestion charge and put it up to a real amount.

Most cabbies are generally twats

lovin the reliance story.

she's never seen a cycling cap before then? there must be loads around there, it's the hippest part of town, dang.

people in london are angry... you notice this when you return to london after a visit elsewhere for more than 2 nights... less than 2 nights and you don't notice it

Spot on. London has turned me into a right nasty cunt.....sometimes

Spot on. London has turned me into a right nasty cunt.....sometimes

+1

Yeah, it's everywhere. I saw a car clip a roadie's back wheel the other day on the Old Kent Road (don't we all just love the Old Kent Road?) so I stopped in case the guy needed a witness. Despite the car hitting the bike from behind, the burly 'bloke' driver was trying to pin it on the cyclist - ' you're not meant to overtake on that side are you!' - as he overtook on the right (like normal road users) and was more worried about the scrapes on his bumper than the mangled back wheel of this expensive road bike. Luckily everyone decided to be amicable and go home - the roadie had an arrospok on the front, and I suggested he get one for the back ;-) But yeah, London huh?

I was already a nasty cunt before I moved here so I can't blame Londun for that.

In other news.. riding with a training bunch today and its down to 3 or 3 on the home stretch. A fucking ambulance, yes, one of those cars that are supposed to be helping sick peeps drives up to my right shoulder and just kinda sits there. I look at the ambo cunt in the window and mutter to the guy riding to my left that this idiot's a bit close. He then moves CLOSER and passes. One bump and I would've clipped the ambulance. At the lights 50m up the road I let him have my thoughts about his driving. He did some kind of hand symbol that I took to mean he thought we were riding too wide. Fuck him! Our bars were almost touching (we're all good bunch riders) and we were as far left as possible.

What's that number plate lookup thing? I wanna see if I got his plates right.

** She looked at me like I had just taken a leery dump in her handbag, then hit me with hat-based vitriol for a good five minutes. Okay so I wear a few geeky cycle caps, jeez. **

So did you get a shag out of her?

did you take a leery dump in her bag?

** hat-based vitriol **

I laugh at this

it amuses.

how about we go up there, about ten of us and line the whole bar, all wearing caps?

matching caps?

if poss

you could have a different letter on each to spell out a word

but then there'd only be four of us..

I very much like the term 'leery dump' and the idea of leaving one in some knobheads bag.

me too

I've got one of those pink Plowman Craven caps, as I'm sure a bunch of forumengers have...

Mwuahahahahaaaaaaaa

I've got one of those pink Plowman Craven caps, as I'm sure a bunch of forumengers have...

Mwuahahahahaaaaaaaa

I too have a silly hat and a willingness to visit pubs.

lets do this!

Not that I have any hats nor do I ever do anything as jolly as socialising, but I am up for encouraging you guys to do stupid shit so...

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