How not to impress ladies (or why I hate bolt on front wheels)

so i have this friend from school. shes a nice kid and i recently hooked her up with an old fuji that was in the back at shoppe. it was fucking insanely heavy, so i told her we can shave off a few pounds by making it a single speed.

so i did the conversion and shit at her house. i just finished cutting and wrapping her bars and i put the front wheel back on. then i put the back wheel on, checked the drive, it was clean.

so she took it down the street and was a little scared (she hasn't ridden a bike in years) anyway. i wanted to make sure everything was set, so i took it for a quick spin.

i went up the road and as i turned around i hit a man hole cover and the bounce knocked the front wheel off and i bent the shit out of her forks, and i took a nice little tumble and almost got ran over by a car.

worst part is she didn't even get to ride it before i fucked up her forks.

you mean screw-on freewheels?

no. no i don't.

So is the starting of a sentence with 'so' an Americanism or does anyone from the UK (or elsewhere) do this ?

Bad luck about the poor workmanship by the way.

So what?

so i did the conversion and shit at her house.

I hope you pulled the chain.

;P

So what?

Is that response for me or emoxfag ?

So you work in a bike shop?
So you forgot to tighten up the wheel nuts? Or you don't know how to use a spanner?
So your idea of a safety check is making sure that the 'drive is clean'?
S'oh dear.

I hope you pulled the chain.

;P

+1

i had to adjust the back axel to make sure the drive train was straight and moved clean and i have no idea how i forgot to tighten the nuts on the fork. i'm really glad it was me that took the bump and not her though.

oh in my defense i work sales 75% of the time (usually i just deal with any ss or fixie issues, and do spot repairs) and we always have a second look on any builds that go out. i guess i was just excited to get her on a bike and go riding and it slipped my mind.

i had to adjust the back axel to make sure the drive train was straight and moved clean and i have no idea how i forgot to tighten the nuts on the fork. i'm really glad it was me that took the bump and not her though.

oh in my defense i work sales 75% of the time (usually i just deal with any ss or fixie issues, and do spot repairs) and we always have a second look on any builds that go out. i guess i was just excited to get her on a bike and go riding and it slipped my mind.

Many years ago I once rode my shit mountain bike the whole length of Oxford Street (a mile or so) with the quick release completely undone as I had forgot to check it - towards the end of oxford street I spotted something in a window of a clothes shop I thought I would hop up onto the pavement and take a look at. This was around 4-5 in the morning (working nights on the way home) so no one was around to see my front wheel fall out of the fork dropouts - get caught by the front brake - and me and the bike get tossed forward onto the pavement.

I was ok, juts cuts and scratches, but the fork and the wheel were totally fucked, I walked home.

Apologies emo, I was trying out the 'being rude' thing that goes down so well on this forum, but it doesn't suit. I know how easy it is to forget something massive.

Similar to Tynan, a couple of years ago I did the 10 mile roundtrip to uni on my mountain bike.. just as I got home I realised that someone had stolen the QR from my front wheel. Lord knows how I didn't come to nasty end.

When I went to buy a new skewer, bike shop dude told me that skewer theft happens all the time. That got me pretty shaken up.. Why I love bolt on axles.

i prefer bolt on usually, but just so many come through with QR. i just built up a nice wheel all trick with crows feet and everything to notice that i used a QR hub (not even my hub. it was a fulcrum hub, i should have kept it ;) that was a shitty night.

but yeah i don't really fit in at teh shop. instead of Hammer gel and powerbars, i carry Cokes and Fruit roll-ups. they ride $3000 commuter bikes. i ride a dumsptered schwinn. the list goes on. i have no idea how i have a job.

I was racing on Newport track, following tightly the wheel of the guy in front of me, he had a disc wheel with those QR axles with allen an bolt instead of lever, whilst concentrating on keeping my wheel an inch or two from his I saw the retainer nut fall off.....that was scary.

so i did the conversion and shit at her house.

SO, Personally I try and avoid doing a shit at friends houses, unless I'm really desparate or ill.

i like to shit at winstons house.

Now'a'days doesnt every new bike come with front forks that has a two little tabs on the lower side of the bolt... a (something) collar?

Now'a'days doesnt every new bike come with front forks that has a two little tabs on the lower side of the bolt... a (something) collar?

"Lawyer tabs"

not even close. BALLS.

Ha, this is why I always learn how to fix and maintain my bike rather than get a bike mechanic to do it ;)

At traffic lights between Fulham Palace Road/Lillie Road, a guy pulled up to me and I noticed his front QR was undone, so I told him. He just grumbled in a kind of 'what the fuck did you just say to me?' tone and rode off :S

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=200219244626&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=010

At least with QR levers you can SEE if they are loose, whereas it's pretty hard to tell with bolt on axles.

one of my friends was riding down the road when he noticed his front QR was half open.
so, being the brilliant boy that he is, he tried to close it with his foot (riding ss), whilst still moving at 15-20mph. tired to nudge it just as he went over a bump, foot went into spokes...you can follow this to its logical conslusion. needed new forks/wheel/face. well not really about the face, but it was pretty bad. still hilarious though.

i let a friend of mine have a go on my specialized...he done a wheelie and the front when fell off...ohh the mirth!

"he done a wheelie and the front when fell off"

what the fuck? is this even ENGLISH?