Look At My Wad (Free Advice Wanted)

Hello,

I've got fucking loads of money right now. Seriously, loads. I'm going to put together a fixie for my commute to the City. It needs to be light because there's a 200m stretch of 1% gradient, and it needs to be stylish because I'm having the mother of mid-life crises, despite being 22.

Here's my proposed spec:

Frame - customer ordered 953 steel with titanium dropouts and carbon wrapped headtube.

Wheels - new limited edition carbon aerospoke with titanium axles and hardware.

Handlebars - Nitto are doing a special one-off contract for me, producing some carbon monocoque cut-down moustache bars, with Kangaroo leather tape, and limited edition 40yr old Bowmore whisky corks as bar ends.

Blah, blah, blah.

What do you hipsters reckon? Will I need to wrap inner tubes round the frame for protection blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah responsive blah blah nimble blah blah sweet blah blah retro powdercoating blah blah NJS blah blah blah what tyres blah blah blah gear ratio blah blah blah...

do it :D

its not HHSB enough

fail!

It will also have a pink deep V at the rear.

Handlebars - Nitto are doing a special one-off contract for me, producing some carbon monocoque cut-down moustache bars, with albino Kangaroo leather tape, and limited edition 40yr old Bowmore whisky corks as bar ends...

fixed - white's in you know

Do you require vertical compliance and superior power transfer?

i'm so confused.

clips and straps or clipless?

what's happened to you?

you used to be such a polite young man. now it's just filth, wall to wall filth about tickling boxes and hipster bikes.

3/32" or 1/8", BMMF?

why not convert this? The Holy Father didn't ride it much...

Hang on before you splash out my son.
I believe there is a deal to be had... pending some vigorous testing on Sunday you could be the happy owner of the latest head turning lite weight london tarmac eater.

u'll need some white tyres too

i think you should get titus to make you an exogrid fixed frame

Arrogantspok?

Consider unobtainium as the frame material for exclusivity?

You're going to need a cap (from BSNYC)

One assumes the NJS stamp means it conforms to the specification for cycling caps?

definitely buy like 20 arrospoke and break off the spoke with'arrospok' written on it, carbon fibre them together in a bike like shape and ta da... there you go. Puppy carnage.

hmm puppy carnage u say

Hello,

I'm going to put together a fixie for my commute to the City. It needs to be light because there's a 200m stretch of 1% gradient,

For heavens sake. A bike like that is not for riding. It's for hanging on the wall and looking at and for showing off to guests and other visitors. Riding is will make it dirty and singularly less aesthetic. If you want to ride, CycleSurgery or Evans will do you a very nice hybrid. Better still, take cabs.

:>

hehehe

I am an Ordained Minister in The Universal Life Church (formerly of Modesto Ca).
To save yourself from eternal slavery, you should send your "wad" of cash to me, to fund my righteous road bike

Lose over 20lbs in six weeks for around a fiver via Amazon.

You might even manage to climb a curb afterwards.