Weirdness Spotted @...

i once sat opposite a weirdo on the bus. he was holding out one hand palm upwards and staring at his hand with a crazy wide eyed open mouthed smile, he was waving furiously with his other hand. this went on for about 15mins his gaze transfixed by his empty palm.
i had to get off the bus as everyone else started to freak me out a bit.

Oh yes, the infamous "air theremin" player. Some people really push conceptual envelopes.

The night I met my wife, I was on the verge of fucking a midget black dwarf tramp woman (I think) in a wedding dress with a traffic cone on her head and fluoro tribal markings all over her face; in the toilets; for a bet.

Yes, I was on a veritable smorgasbord of illicit substances.

The other contender was a woman who introduced herself as 'psycho-pussy',had a monobrow like a military moustache, and a very skinny gimp on a leash.

I'm so glad my wife-to-be happened to be the person I ponced a fag off before committing to such whimsical debauchery. Who knows where I've ended up in that particular parallel universe...

wow! that'll be a good one to tell Tynan.

Equally weird (in a different way), was the fact it turned out one the blokes I was sharing a house with at the time was my wife-to-be's first boyfriend. And she'd been in the audience at a gig I'd played 2 weeks earlier (but hadn't recognized me from that, because on stage I'd had a beard, and was wearing make up, a wig, an ice-skating skirt, and some red and white striped tights).

pics. i want pics.

i saw a man shitting into a carrier bag suspended between his legs outside somerfield in old street. all i could think was, 'that's low, he's travelled a long way, but that must be the lowest point, i mean, somerfield for fuck's sake'.

a friend was on the tube between mile end and stratford and a man took a shit on the sort of ledge seats.

if he's begging for money there's a good chance he's a tramp sleeping rough...a newspaper is good bedding when you have nothing else.

its also quite good to stuff in your cloths to help keep you warm, just don't let it get wet.

bringmemyfix's life sounds infinitely more interesting than mine.

Does anyone know of "THE BEST OF LUCK!!" dude that I have witnessed over the last six years or so?
Every once in a while I see him about, usually in supermarkets.

There should be some sort of tramp/street nutter list or audit kept online somewhere...fuckit I might start one!

the 'best of luck' thing rings a bell. what does he look like?

bringmemyfix's life sounds infinitely more interesting than mine.

Mild-mannered library assistant by day...

Does anyone know of "THE BEST OF LUCK!!" dude that I have witnessed over the last six years or so?
Every once in a while I see him about, usually in supermarkets.

Haven't seen him, but in Basingstoke there was a bloke known as "please and thank you man" because, unsurprisingly, he says please and thank you constantly to absolutely everyone. Even my Mum remembers him from when she was my age.

"Please, if you wouldn't mind, please look to see if you have this cd please?"
"yeah, sure, what are you after?"
"oh thank you. i would please like * have you got it please?"
"yeah, we do. i'll go and get it for you."
"thank you, oh thank you that's great, thank you!"
(walks off saying thank you and waving)

Total nutter, haha. Then again I'd rather help him than someone with no manners at all. :)

The night I met my wife, I was on the verge of fucking a midget black dwarf tramp woman (I think) in a wedding dress with a traffic cone on her head and fluoro tribal markings all over her face; in the toilets; for a bet.

Yes, I was on a veritable smorgasbord of illicit substances.

The other contender was a woman who introduced herself as 'psycho-pussy',had a monobrow like a military moustache, and a very skinny gimp on a leash.

I'm so glad my wife-to-be happened to be the person I ponced a fag off before committing to such whimsical debauchery. Who knows where I've ended up in that particular parallel universe...

That is frightening.
Glad it worked out OK for you :)

Thanks, although I ended up with the biggest mentalist of the 3 ;)

Mild-mannered library assistant by day...

it's always the quiet types ..

The best of luck bloke is a smallish black guy. Probably in his fiftys or so. Apparently he is still around as my mates girlfriend bumped into him (literally) in Sainsburys in Muswell Hill the other day and set him off.

I wonder where he got his saying from? Someone should really start some collection of street nutters and make it into a book or something. God knows we get enough of them coming into Flamin' Eight.

yeah i thought he was a black geezer. it definitely have seen him but i can't picture him!