Weirdness Spotted @...

The night I met my wife, I was on the verge of fucking a midget black dwarf tramp woman (I think) in a wedding dress with a traffic cone on her head and fluoro tribal markings all over her face; in the toilets; for a bet.

Yes, I was on a veritable smorgasbord of illicit substances.

The other contender was a woman who introduced herself as 'psycho-pussy',had a monobrow like a military moustache, and a very skinny gimp on a leash.

I'm so glad my wife-to-be happened to be the person I ponced a fag off before committing to such whimsical debauchery. Who knows where I've ended up in that particular parallel universe...

wow! that'll be a good one to tell Tynan.