Pedantry!

He's already beating me down, but Childline seem unsympathetic towards my claims of suffering physical abuse at the hands of an infant.

I was going to ask if yours had arrived yet. Congratulations :)

Yep! all came out good, pair of eyes, tens fingers, all the major sensory organs at the top of his body, that kind of thing - were going to call him Tynan for a long old while (my middle name).

Mine is very very fast, but we could arrange some sort of handicap system to make things more interesting...

You could sit on his back.