Bike Jacking... 'Yo Give Me That Whip You Fool'

i got robbed once, when I was 16, had been partying and the car was out of gas, so i stopped at a station downtown, me and my girl at the time managed to cobble together something like 86 cents between us, and hoped to get back to my place on that. Between the party and the gas station we had stopped to acquire food, and i had a banana in my jacket pocket (this is important). walking into the station, there was a bum/guy asking for change to make a phone call. my better judgment had gone to alcohol, so i told him i had no change, but he could use my mobile. hand it over, and he takes it, then turns and legs it. I chase him and we end up in a dark, dead end ally. First thought, I've got the bastard, second thought, oh shit now what. I say "give me back my phone" he says no, i reach into my jacket pocket, grab my knife (one of those multi tools) thinking to scare him, and pull out a banana. then the kind of inspiration that can only strike a drunk 16 year old hits, and i point the banana at his chest and say "I've got a gun give me the fucking phone", he says "you aint gonna shoot me over a phone". now if i had a real gun, i could have fired off a warning shot, but i had a banana, so i just have to keep faking it, theres a bit of "im going to fucking shoot you" and "you don't have the balls" then my girl arrived on the seen and planted her steel toed boot square in the guys balls, while he was arguing with me over who was going to shoot who. we got the phone back and leged it back to the car.

moral of the story, if your going to do something as stupid as threaten a bum with a banana make sure you have a hardcore punkass girl to back you up.

Wise words.

Before I left London, I was robbed by a group of four knife-wielding lads and I ended up reasoning with them that they could take my iPod and money, but I was keeping my wallet and housekeys, as I wanted my Travelcard and to be able to get into my home. We argued a bit over my mobile (I told them that I would simply blacklist the handset once I got home, so I didn't see any point in them stealing it) before I gave up trying to keep that. It was all surreally businesslike.

However, by contrast, a single lad tried to rob me with a knife a few months later (I still have a small scar on my left cheek after he cut me) and I just kicked him really hard in the nuts and did a runner. On reflection, I was very very lucky to escape that situation alive and I wouldn't recommend trying that course of action.

At the end of the day, it's just stuff - which can be replaced; there's no way back from being face down in a pool of your own blood underneath some dirty railway bridge off Mare Street.

I've yet to feel even slightly threatened in California, not even in Oakland (4th Most dangerous City in the US last year, apparently).

could this post be any more smug?

it could be at a critical mass wearing a 'one less car' shirt

@ Chris

epic tale dude

it was an epic night.

could this post be any more smug?

I try, I really do.

I was actually trying to make the point that fighting back was a really stupid move, in retrospect, and that I should have just handed over my stuff; I was also expressing surprise that London seems more dangerous than Oakland for street crime (or, at least, it does in my personal experience).