Ludicrous Bike Claims

So I thought it would be fun to start a thread of clearly ludicrous or bonkers claims about bike equipment. For example, my saddle has "FeC alloy"written on the rails of it. Full marks if you spotted that that meant it was actually made of steel...

Any other gems?

turbo seats? back in the day when my dad had one i found it really funny...how the fuck is it turbo.

turbo

not a turbo

Hmm. Let me see. You want to know how something that is involved in copious production of hot gases could have anything to do with a simple car part...

go faster stripes, pull the other one, next you'll tell me the easter bunny is real.

aidan turbo seats? back in the day when my dad had one i found it really funny...how the fuck is it turbo.

turbo

not a turbo

It's those little holes they are actually very fine drillings that all exit under the rear of the saddle so as you fart it helps propel you forward with a turbo like boost, it also directs said wind into the face of any wheelsuckers that may be loitering in your wake and help you by lowering their VO2 Max ;)

Carbolite
Because it so obviously isn't.

Spesh "Zertz" inserts, Colnago B-Stay, fsck every manufacturer has got a tonne of wank marketing claims..

hippy why so bitter about everything?

:(

Just answering the request. The bitterness is genetic.

it's not names that upset me... personally I cannot stand pointless superfluous graphics on bike frames. they nearly always look absolutely wank and nearly every manufacturer out there does it. even high-end makers.

those forks that claim the shave 0.5 seconds of a 55km ride. even if its it true it wil only save you 2 seconds of the dunwich

stonster So I thought it would be fun to start a thread of clearly ludicrous or bonkers claims about bike equipment. For example, my saddle has "FeC alloy"written on the rails of it. Full marks if you spotted that that meant it was actually made of steel...

Any other gems?

The word alloy does not mean "aluminium" it means a mixture of two or more elements at least one of which is a metal......steel itself, "531" (steel and chomium and molybdenum), brass are all alloys......so the description is correct.........I've got no idea why the word alloy has come to mean aluminium in the bike (and car) world.....anyone?

mispelling the shortening of the word, ie: alu, ally alloy ?

What about Selle Italia SLR XP made from "tubular vanox".. ie. steel again :)

the about the makers of the specialised tarmac in carbon that claim it makes the riders look slimmer and more like real cyclists?!?

You're boring me Dianne, haven't you got any new lines yet?

"Red ones go faster."

Oh wait, thats true ;-)

Specialized tarmac - definitely isn't made of tarmac.

What?!?! But it's black! It said 'tarmac'! Those lying bastards!!

According to hippy - anything written on the side of a Continental tyre box...

hehe

http://bulgier.net/pics/bike/Catalogs/zunow/4.jpg
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