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@pj_(pj)
i went to mosquito once. the bemulleted twat working behind the counter treated me like i was a piece of ebola-ridden newly ejected phlegm. i couldn't get their crappy track pump to work so he did it for me, with much sighing, misery and dismay, all the while showing an asscrack bigger than Doris Salcedo’s Shibboleth, and pumped up the tyre till it burst then told me i had a puncture. what a cock. i so wanted to take the aforementioned shitty track pump and inflate his head until it exploded all over the walls, thus matching that oh-so-unique, projectile-vomit pegoretti colour scheme.
but of course, i sighed, paid for a new tube and walked out, feeling crappy, while the mulleteer went back to tossing off his micro-peni through one of the holes in his chamois pad, eyes glazed over, lovingly, at the mere sight of the spectacularly revolting soma build on the wall opposite.