• I have a friend who only buys black bikes, because his girlfriend has no interest at all and just doesn't register when there's a new one - there's still just a load of black bikes in the house...

    If you're lucky, one red bike will be the same as another.

    If your good lady is more switched on, you could be in trouble...

    Seriously, someone please give this a good home, it's amazing. I've been considering hanging weights off my legs to make them fit it, but I don't think it'll work

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