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@stupidpony
Hmmm.
Depart 7.pm Eurostar Waterloo, now St Pancaras, customs is delightful, no need to take your shoes off. Bike goes for free as long as in a bike bag. Change at Lille. Board mega efficient German train, deposit bike in luggage compartment, go to bar, drink beer. Retire to sleeper birth. Watch dvd on laptop. Sleep. Awakened with reasonably good filter coffee and croissant. Arrive Berlin Zoo station 7.30 am having had good nights sleep. Stick wheels on bike, deposit bike bag @ left luggage. Cycle to mates house. sorted.
I did this with my girlfriend, if you go alone you may have to share with as stranger, friend you have not met yet. Takes a day, so if time is of a premium then not for you. costs about £150, sounds like a lot but I'm cannot stand easyRyanJet™ & airports treat bikes worse than day trippers from Chechnya.
More or less door to door although we had to do a black cab to the station, they'll take a bike in the back in a bag.
I would highly recommend if you have the time and are good at train timetables. Plus you get to feel double smug about the ozone & riding your own bike in someone else's city rocks.