New locks required

I swear I've said this so many times on here.

Chains
If you really don't want your bike being nicked, don't buy a chain. You can get through them with bolt croppers, if you have the big ones that have levers that are over a metre long. Croppers like that cost serious money, but if you're a serious bike thief, you'll have probably nicked them anyway.

Chain bought from a locksmith
How does the locksmith cut the chain to the length you want in the shop? With bolt croppers. Not even big ones either. If you really want to buy chain from a locksmith, get them to order you a length that has been made to length, rather than cut (my friend's Dad was a locksmith and ran his own business, he did that).

Almax chains
The Krypto chain in that video was "donated". How do you know it was really a krypto chain in there? Kryptonite laughed their heads off at the video, they mentioned it on their blog.

Bic on Krypto locks
Doesn't work on any of the new Krypto locks. That bic thing was on the net years ago. They all have disc locks now, which are very difficult to pic, but not impossible.

Cable locks
Again, no. If you peal back the amour on the cable you can get to the cable core then crop it.

D Locks
1) Car jack in the lock.

• Nope, if you lock your bike up properly. Fill the d-lock as much as possible so that a thief can't get any tools in there. Failing that, buy a small d-lock like the krypto new york fahgettaboudit or evo mini.
  
  

2) Pick it.

• Nope, if you lock up the bike so that the key hole is facing down so that they can't look into it easily. Facing it down also stops, in the unlikely event that a thief got liquid nitrogen, them from spraying it into the lock easily.
  
  

3) Smash it hard.

• Again, don't leave the lock laying on the ground or anything hard.
  
  

Freezing locks
Liquid nitrogen is really expensive to get. BOC gases aren't going to sell it to anyone either, I see the vans rolling into my department at uni quite often, and the machines that use it cost a fortune to buy and run. It's so unlikely to happen.

Street furniture
Lock to something that would be a pain in the arse to cut through, or where there are loads of people in a well lit area.

Lock through wheels.
Even if they cut through the furniture, then they have to break the lock anyway - more effort. If you're a bike thief, are you going to nick one expensive bike or several average ones?

What do I do?

Out, leaving bike for a few min:
Krypto New York 3000 + Krypto evo cable through front wheel and saddle rails.

Leaving bike for an hour:
Above, plus Krypto Evo mini locking front wheel to street furniture.

All day at uni:
Krypto New York 3000, Krypto Evo Mini, and for a little extra deterrent a Abus chain I leave in the bike store. Then Krypto cable for saddle :P

Over the top? Maybe. I just don't want my bike nicked.