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@BringMeMyFix
That's funny.
Did the first tube that punctured have more than one hole?
Sounds like you've checked the usual suspects: spokes poking through/against rim tape, foreign body lodged in tyre casing, improper tyre mounting (with pinched tube), twisted tube, rough edge around valve hole, broken glass/flints/potholes on turbo roller...?
Or longshot - front mech cable without end cap surreptitiously sneaked behind seat-tube and speared tyre? Fuck knows.