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@BringMeMyFix
Er, not exactly. But my mum's Scottish, and my wife's mum's from Teeside.
As climber extraordinaire, I was clearly raised by a goat-herder on the steppes of the Andes, forced to ride a solid lead frame down to the village 4000m below to sell our non-mucilaginous wares every day, and then hoof it back up whilst chased by the local drug lords who had a grudge against papa after a cacao-for-milk deal went sour.