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@anth
Shattered elbow riding cycle speedway (or rather, not being very good at riding cycle speedway). Pedal strike high-sided me, stuck the arm out to break the fall, and broke it instead.
Top arm bone got split up the middle, bottom had a chunk broken off at the elbow. Now held together by metal bars, screws, pins and wires. Roughly 8 inch scar where they opened it up.
Bizarrely, because I hadn't really damaged any nerve endings it really didn't hurt that much, just couldn't move the arm. Mind you, I didn't turn down the offer of morphine.... 3 days before I got operated on, can't straighten the arm properly, and it still gives me occasional gip, but at least I can use it!