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@hippy
Yes, it was a joke winston.
I used to rub Coke (that's cola not COKE!) on the rims of my trials bike. You can't modulate your braking but it makes the rims sticky as fsck and really helps lock the pads to the rim - which is kinda important in trials. Other riders rub road tar onto their rims. Don't do either of these to your road bike..