Revenge is sweet

TheBrick(Tommy) What is it with drivers this week

So it's not just my paranoia then.

Also, I rode past one of those idiot peds yesterday - light changing from green to amber as I'm about 10m away, so I put the hammer down (jump from about 19 to 25mph) to get through before the red (comfortably). Ped leaps out - on a red man - and shouts "oi, its' a red light".

Fucking bigoted twunt. Perhaps I should go on a BBC discussion page and tarnish all peds with the same brush...

What a moron...

I just went out for a ride. Going down a wide-ish road, no road markings though, and this woman in her car toots her horn at me behind me and as she goes past. :S

Probably because I wasn't riding far enough to the left hand side of the road. She'd probably only be happy if I was riding in the mud/bushes.

Its a state of mind drivers get when behind the wheel I think. It used to be enough for a driver to honk their horn for me to spin around, approach them, throw the bike down and do the whole "WHAT THE @!!$% DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE BEEPING CAUSE YOU WANNA SIT AT THE LIGHTS, WHAT, @£$%^&*ING 2 SECONDS EARLIER? GET OUT OF THE CAR AND BEEP TO MY FACE, F**%$£ER. COME ON!!!" but about a fortnight ago a taxi, who could clearly see me in his wing mirror, closed the gap between a parked car and himself, and nearly squashed me. As soon as I pulled up to him at the lights to give him a piece of my mind, I realised it might not be worth it. He was about 6 foot two, and built like one of those football hooligans you see on the news from the police helicopter overhead. Needless to say, the altercation resulted in him driving up and along the pavement in an attempt to silence me with the bonnet of his black tank. It was then I realised you can't actually don't stand a chance against a proper full size car, no matter how angry you are. I reckon you did the right thing in riding off. You're either invisible or a target. When they can kill you, thats pretty much the only option. since then, I've just been goin as fast as I can and keeping out of all traffics way. I'd rather ride than have died.

some prick in a volvo estate. what else would a prick be in!
overtook me and turned left just as i got to a left turning?!
what the hell does he think he is doing? could he not wait two more seconds maximum
and ppose no risk to me. i had to brake to avoid cycling into the side of him.
i shouted something lovely at him and he looked in his mirror at me
resulting in him not realising the car in front had stopped and he nearly hit the other car haha!

I'm far less angry on the roads since starting to ride fixed.
More "where's the gap?" than "who's trying to kill me?".

brett I'm far less angry on the roads since starting to ride fixed.
More "where's the gap?" than "who's trying to kill me?".

yep yep yep. I'd get so frustrated in traffic from just not knowing why I'd be held up. I started calling it 'suicide traffic' when driving, now I get rid of any pent-up nervous energy riding through it, pleased to go my own way.

Hell, you expect Merc drivers to be pricks and Volvo drivers to be stupid, but the other day some silly bitch in a fucking Prius tried to run me down. A fucking Prius! the shame of it. I felt so ashamed.

Well, right now I'm anti-cyclist. Fscking maggots. Brand new fscking forks and then bam.. ffs if i destroy another headset.. grrr

dominiclincoln Its a state of mind drivers get when behind the wheel I think. It used to be enough for a driver to honk their horn for me to spin around, approach them, throw the bike down and do the whole "WHAT THE @!!$% DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE BEEPING CAUSE YOU WANNA SIT AT THE LIGHTS, WHAT, @£$%^&*ING 2 SECONDS EARLIER? GET OUT OF THE CAR AND BEEP TO MY FACE, F**%$£ER. COME ON!!!" but about a fortnight ago a taxi, who could clearly see me in his wing mirror, closed the gap between a parked car and himself, and nearly squashed me. As soon as I pulled up to him at the lights to give him a piece of my mind, I realised it might not be worth it. He was about 6 foot two, and built like one of those football hooligans you see on the news from the police helicopter overhead. Needless to say, the altercation resulted in him driving up and along the pavement in an attempt to silence me with the bonnet of his black tank. It was then I realised you can't actually don't stand a chance against a proper full size car, no matter how angry you are. I reckon you did the right thing in riding off. You're either invisible or a target. When they can kill you, thats pretty much the only option. since then, I've just been goin as fast as I can and keeping out of all traffics way. I'd rather ride than have died.

Low profile revenge solution i'm liking currently...

You approach them at the lights as if you never even noticed they had nearly squished you.
Big relaxed smile on your face, preferably humming a tune...
(this is only when people deliberately try to kill you obviously - not just for beeping etc)

Look straight ahead. Casually prepare your sharpest key, but keep it by your side in your hand.
As the lights go green get ready. Do not ride with him but wait till the dangerous bastard starts
moving then simply hold your key against the side of his car.

Satisfying, low risk alternative to a full on D-lock mashing.

I thank you.

dominiclincoln [quote]brett I'm far less angry on the roads since starting to ride fixed.
More "where's the gap?" than "who's trying to kill me?".

yep yep yep. I'd get so frustrated in traffic from just not knowing why I'd be held up. I started calling it 'suicide traffic' when driving, now I get rid of any pent-up nervous energy riding through it, pleased to go my own way.[/quote]

i'm with you guys...
i know we've all got stories like this, but here's mine:
in milan while riding in a bus lane - just buses, taxis, and bikes - a taxi sped past me only to stop two feet in front of me at a long line of parked cars and did a pretty good job of squishing me into the curb. as i passed i gave him the old open handed slap on the door, not hard at all, but i guess it sounds loud from inside. he passes me again and stops, blocking most of the lane and gets out of the car, but i thought he was dropping off passengers and rode around the opposite side of the car. i continue on and had almost forgotten all about him, then, when slowing before a large intersection with the light against me, i hear a car accelerate from behind, turn around and see him speeding into me and grab onto his roof to keep myself from being knocked over. i pound on his windows and swear at him in english as he swears at me in italian. the temptation was to smash his mirror, but after he sped off and i walked onto the sidewalk shaking with rage, i was really glad i hadn't. people are fucked up, and if you're going to start something, you'd better be ready to finish it. unless you actually get hurt (or your bike does), it's just not worth it. there are too many nutters out there, and the chances of the cops ruling in your favour are slim to none.
sometimes all i want is a peaceful, fast ride with no cars. i guess that's why i like riding at night so much.

mdja Hell, you expect Merc drivers to be pricks and Volvo drivers to be stupid, but the other day some silly bitch in a fucking Prius tried to run me down. A fucking Prius! the shame of it. I felt so ashamed.

How slow were you going to let a Prius catch up with you?!

Seriously though - they're fscking dangerous because they make no noise half the time. And those horrible little G-Wizz things. Arghh.

What is it about today? Maybe the sun? I was slowing for a red light on Bayswater Road (the cross road where the road heads into Hyde Park and over the Serpentine) and some dude in a MPV packed with kids starts tooting me. I look back all WTF? and he kicks off going "if you've got something to say, come speak me" gesturing me to pull alongside him. I point out that the light was red, my bike has no breaklights and that if I was a car he wouldn't have felt compelled to drive into the back of me. He just kept gesturing for me to come over and duke it out with him. I turned round, ignored him and - fortunately - didn't see him again all the way back to Shepherd's Bush.

But what's the thought process? "I was taking little Johnny and his mates swimming, but actually now I fancy punching this cyclists lights out because he refused to let me run him over to gain 10 yards on him in the run up to a red light'"?

Like Johnny Rotten before me, today I met the man in the street and can confirm that, yes, he is a c*nt.

maybe the sun's really blinding those f**kers. someone in a family car cut me up on kennington park end of brixton road it was centimetres before we made contact. i couldn't squeeze through that gap i have to slow down to avoid being squished. he shot through the other set of lights at the junction i couldn't catch up with him and bang on his window... c*nt.

anyway, brilliant work MA3K!

Second that. Nice for it to go our way for once.

Some blonde bint yesterday comes up behind - BEEP BEEP

I move over

BEEP BEEP - BEEEEEEEEP

she pulls up beside me gesticulating at the bike lane

that I am steadfastly ignoring

well that set the cat amongst the pidgeons

I raced her every set of lights for two miles

Each time she rolled up to the light

There I was grinning and shaking my head

as if to say

Golly, you are a bit slow aren't you darlin

I thought she was going to get out of the car and hit me

Could I stop fucking laughing could I fuck

I'm sensing there's a lot of anger in the room...

I predict tomorrow will be better. But I have just drunk a bottle of wine.

yeah today has be a weird one aint it.....i did wake up in a funny mood

On my way home a bloke in the passenger seat of a van said to me, "oi mate, yer bag's open", so I said cheers and stopped to check it - it wasn't, felt like a right mug. Then someone else drove into me at a junction, whilst I was in front of him. And after that me back wheel started disassembling itself. So yes, strange day...

I was walking back to the office from a meeting today and watched as a woman and her kids were crossing the road. No ped lights on this stretch: you just cross when the lights are red on the street you're crossing. Anyway, a car turning left slows down to let her and the kids cross. Straight away, the driver behind leans on the horn because she can't continue on immediately.

Point is, it's not really that cars hate bikes. It's that roads make people stupid. Everyone thinks it's a fundamental human right to travel as fast as possible, and woe betide anything that gets in the way. To make it easier to justify that to themselves, they dehumanise everyone else out there on the road.

Look at the fuss about speed cameras - an entire political platform built on people's perceived right to travel faster than urban planners think is safe on a given stretch of road. And that's before you start talking about vehicle excise duty, which people think pays for the roads and hence gives them priority use thereof, when actually road maintenance comes out of council taxes or from the highways authority - which I, as a Londoner, pay for as much as any car driver in this damned city. Or peds calling cyclists Nazis, or cyclists attacking cars. Sorry. But it's like there's a whole chunk of our brains that we turn off to justify the way we act when we're on the roads that means that we do things that are difficult if not impossible to rationalise. Emotionally they feel justified, but as soon as you start pulling at the thread, they unravel.

I just got back from picking up a childseat in Teddington. Rode through Richmond Park (they'd shut the gates): beautiful red sky, cyclists, deer, rollerbladers, joggers, kids, cavorting couples. And, possibly due to the childseat (carrying my pannier), all the traffic was definitely giving me a bit more room, at least until I reached the touristy/cabby stretch of the Embankment.

So there you go, after what was unequivocally a fucking egregious day on the roads, things had a mellow end. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

But sorry about your rear wheel, Brett :-(

I've had a cnut get out of the car and come after. It was pretty silly as I just rode past the fscking moron while he was all up for his little war. Gee, the other 10 cars past me without incident.
I've had a woman yell "I'm gonna fscking kill you. I'm gonna run over you." while I was in front of her. So I stopped and said "fscking do it then you cnut! Do it!" (I may have been slightly suicidal at the time) and guess what? No dice.
I've chased so many fsckers down to lecture them about them nearly killing me I've lost count.
I've had cnut hoons in Commodores knock me down and continue off up the road wondering what morning show they should tune their radio to.
I've had arze fsckers blow those can siren things at me while driving past.
Most of them back down when they're given a death stare. The "nothing would make me happier than to skin your thrashing corpse right now" look.
Soma seems to work, even with the busted headset. Gonna ride it til it dies like every other frickin headset.

There's still 9 minutes to go..

"We will bring the ruckus to all your motherfuckaz!"

Busted how?