Best Snappy Put-Down Line for Motorists

Can anybody give me some inspiration?
I am trying to cut down on the swearing which rules out my favourites namely: Cunt,** Fucking idiot** and Wanker

i find hand signals the best,this prick in a big car thing was driving right up my arse,so over my shoulder i called him a wanker with my hand.he then come up beside me and started ranting in his car but i couldnt hear what he was saying so another hand signal was in order,this one was showing him how close he was to me...it ended happily ever after,the end

let them overtake you then look in their review mirror and do the old blowjob jesture, it pisses 'em off so much!
if it's you lucky day he might crash in the car in front....jackpot!

haaaa,im not sure if we have met but i could so imagine you doing that!

we did i'm actually a nice guy

at polo right,are you in the photos?

take your d-lock out of your pocket and hold it over your head menciingly.

haaa

This is always my problem. I have the mouth, but not the physique to back it up (hence why some guy was threatening to "fuck me up" last Saturday - no thanks pal, sodomy isn't my thing).

im a skinny fcuk also, ive just taken to riding in front of them at a snails speed and looking over my sholder at them like im having a really fun time,
YAY for pacifism

don't bother with them much these days, too busy just gettin' on.

but I have, on several occassions, posed the question "Do you want a fucking fight then, Cunt?"

works especially well with school run mums in 4x4s

What's wrong with reading the road further and avoiding the incidents?

Aside from that, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry but I do appear to have right of way. Thank you.", that might work. Politeness in such situations is far more effective and devastating then a batch of quick fire expletives.

sarcastic politeness they don't know what to do

REading the road is fine, until someone cuts you up on purpose.
Club ride, 2 abreast (behind Sandown Park) and a BMW honks, then rushes past missing me (front RHS) by a gnats cock. I lose my rag and chase him, he slows and winds his window down shouting "You should obey the rules of the road and ride single file"
I asked if he was an procreating onanist, knew if his parents were married and wanted to discuss it further, whilst comparing him to female genitalia, none of which he responded to.
After he sped off, I thought I should've filled his full leather interior with the litre of lucozade I had in my bottle.

cunt.

Theres a thread on C+ about responses - the best ( and most passive one) is to cup your ear and say "What?" a lot. Then repeat the last word of their sentence as a question - "You're a wanker!" "Wanker?"

After repeating their abuse lots they sound like a proper twat. Especially if you smile at them coz you're taking the piss.

i'm still utilising the campest dick emery style shout of 'OOOOOOOHHHH YOU ARE AWFUL" for WVM and cabbies - strangely effective since im a rather large bearded skinhead...

special use only is the strangely confusing 'I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU RO-LAND'

i've also taken to giving them a really cheesy smile and thumbs up, confuse the f**kers and keep it peaceful

i was thinking of blowing some man a kiss,that would confuss him but theres a chance he may enjoy it!

cabbies get particularly upset with that one fella

i must give it a try

probably because it makes them doubt their sexuality, they all seem to get pissed off about that.

I like the politeness/weirdness options too, much better for you if you keep your temper in check and they look like a frothing loon. Better for your health as well.

Avoid it in general because I everyone is always correct in their own eyes. (Myself included). But if some does piss me off big time, a nice bif greeny does the trick.

sorry for the following in advance .... i haven't even started drinking yet but this idea found it's way into my brain SORRY

sometimes an attempt to remove a wing mirror gets rid of any pent up aggression build up through a day of trying to fix a leaky tap / unblock a toilet however it also teaches you that hands are softer than bmw's / mercs
or
how about a bag of turds every time you get cut up " administer the turd " to a windscreen, through an open window, however keeping that in your rucksack under your desk will raise a few eyebrows with your work colleagues ( no i don't know through personal experience ) or how to get ones regular supply might be tricky creating one on the move might be difficult but at least you know it's fresh

forgive me the above i am usually quite repectful and don't like rude things but .... i thought it was kinda funny

I always feel like a prick after I do anything, it's better to tut than to yell.

yeah agression only feeds agression

peace man