Fave quotes

sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy

steve martin

who's the man who used to act with mae west the quotes they come out with are pretty cool

it's time to take the cork out of my lunch !!

avi........whys he called borris the bulletdodger

bullet tooth tony......cos he dodges bullets avi

lock stock ?

Yeah, London. You know, cup o tea, bad food, worst weather, mary fucking poppins. LONDON.

yeah!! that part is so funny

And certainly not when you've got Liberia's deficit in your skyrocket

"Everyone talks about the rock, but what about the roll, man?"

-Keith Richards

"My Brain is my second favourite organ"
Woody Allen

"I always knew that cunt would fuck some cunt"
Begbie (Trainspotting)

"Do chicks fart when you blast them in the ass?"
Jay(& Silent Bob) - Dogma

"Oh sweet lady with your face like a cream oval
And your nose like a delicious slope of cream
And your ears like cream flaps
And your teeth like hard shiny pegs of creamÖ"

"Do I hear the flapping of buttocks? Because you're talking out of your ARSE!!!"

Homer Simpson: I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

Winston Churchill (to Bessie Braddock): "I may well be drunk, but in the morning I will be sober, whereas you will be ugly for the rest of your life."

just been watching waynes world two i chuckled loud when i heard these two as garth is getting down and dirty with a honey

Honey Horne: I'm goning to be frank.
Garth: OK. Can I still be Garth?

Honey Horne: Take me, Garth!
Garth Algar: Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket.

'If madonna can do it so can you' -Zoe

'Skin grows back, ride a bike' -messenger at 2 weeks ago's polo game

' Oh Fuck the celing is falling' -some kid at the show tonight as the roof fell on our heads.

' i tried to see things from his point of view but my head wouldn't fit up his arse' - dick valentine (it's something like that anyway)

" This man is my complete double. That dog has a puffy tail" Homer Simpson

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Lois, this is not my batman glass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-sbKs23iJI

haha

"Fixed gears are for c***s"

"Clausewitz says that most plans do not survive contact with the enemy; I say that most messenger plans do not survive contact with reality"

Boris the Race Captain

http://www.movingtargetzine.com/article/boris-and-the-aeroplane

on someones myspace home page
i'm so glamourous i piss glitter

and from QI last night not so much a quote as a very funny little story

**"We will not have him put down. Lucky is basically a damn good guide dog,'' Ernst Gerber, a dog trainer from Wuppertal told reporters. "He just needs a little brush-up on some elementary skills, that's all.''
Gerber admitted to the press conference that Lucky, a German shepherd guide-dog for the blind, had so far been responsible for the deaths of all four of his previous owners. "I admit it's not an impressive record on paper. He led his first owner in front of a bus, and the second off the end of a pier. He actually pushed his third owner off a railway platform just as the Cologne to Frankfurt express was approaching and he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, before abandoning him and running away to safety. But, apart from epileptic fits, he has a lovely temperament. And guide dogs are difficult to train these days.''

Asked if Lucky's fifth owner would be told about his previous record, Gerber replied: "No. It would make them nervous, and would make Lucky nervous. And when Lucky gets nervous he's liable to do something silly.'' **

Here is the clip from youtube get going at about 4.17min

yeah that was well funny...that program is great,stephen fry is a genius

"rap the guns up,count the money.....and put your seatbelt on!"

"Champagne for my real friends. Real pain for my sham friends."

"The creative process is a cocktail of instinct, skill, culture and a highly creative feverishness. It is not like a drug; it is a particular state when everything happens very quickly, a mixture of consciousness and unconsciousness, of fear and pleasure; it’s a little like making love, the physical act of love."

• Francis Bacon
  

Way of the gun...alright film IMO...great quote for all the right reasons...

Bar Patron: Hey, hey. Yeah you, get up. What are you retarded? Get off the fucking car!
Raving Bitch: Hey dickless, get off the fucking car! Hey fucksuck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!
Parker: Shut that cunts mouth or I'll come over there and fuckstart her head!