I hate

The old saying that you don't chose your family.

I'm still sad that avoided seeing parents while alive as brother was there. Could tell you some stories of cuntry

The fact you replied with this kind of proves the point...😉

Never wise to judge by someone’s relatives, but if we’re starting from scratch bonobos are too close to chimps and humans to risk it.

My vote is for a New New Zealand. Wait for a new volcanic landmass to emerge, then flood the rest of this godforsaken planet. Let the birds, insects, plants, fungi and bacteria have another go without some fucking mammals coming around to ruin things again.

Sweeteners. I just want a Dr Pepper with sugar only.

100%. Some places only have sugar-free drinks so I just go without.

Where are the bonobos at in the planet of the apes films? Probably all just chilling out and fucking, they get it.

Same here. I was never a big fizzy drink drinker, but I absolutely hate the taste of sweeteners in them now.

Sorry to break it to you but…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koba_(Planet_of_the_Apes)

Also, post human planet of the apes is a strict specie-ist caste system. If you’re lucky enough to be born orange with the right background (orangutans), then you stand a shot at true citizenship and political power. Born a gorilla? Good luck getting into politics, you’re destined for a life of manual labour enacting others’ commands.

Gotta shed our simian and mammalian biases. Kiwis are chill af, as were dodos, and they probably won’t leave behind mountains of Kentucky fried human bones as a proof of their civilisation. https://amp.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jan/06/h-bombs-chicken-bones-scientists-race-to-define-start-of-the-anthropocene

And the other bonobos will be fucking in the corner, that guy was definitely a victim of abuse.
Kiwis and Dodos might've been chill, but not all birds are, and the chill ones might evolve into something evil of it benefits their survival.

the chill ones might evolve into something evil if it benefits their survival.

Rod Hull's emu for example.

the chill ones might evolve into something evil of it benefits their survival.

See: ducks, also chickens.

NZ managed to get rid of most of its predators (excl. insectivores) until humans came along. An abundant environment, no overcrowding and a lack of predatory pressure probably led to laid back lifestyles/species, and it seems to be of one the few places that has managed it, along with the Galapagos.

Like living in Hawaii vs London, on a long enough timescale you’ll get markedly different attitudes and features.

You'd be evil if you were constantly fisted by Rod Hull

Yeah pineapple and spam on pizza.

Are you saying the emu pushed him off the roof?

As I recall, after his death his sister said "If Emu told him to jump off the roof, he would."

Real life the puppet in control of the man and then tells him to kill?

Coldslaw I like coleslaw but FFS!

New Year's Eve

Me too, as I had a sibling born on New year's Day and it was all about him.

Worst ain’t it. You go to bed at 9.30pm but still get woken up at midnight by the fireworks

Which also happens to be my youngest's birthday (she was due on Christmas Eve so I'm not sure if we dodged a bullet or caught one).

Middle class veneration of the shipping forecast, always by people who have no idea what it means.

The shipping forecast isn't 'comforting'. It's a source of anxiety if you are using it for practical purposes.

I've been triggered by current coverage on radio 4, including the novelty of 'Nessa' reading it. Fuck off.

Also Gavin and Stacey >>>>>>>>>>>>>

haha, just almost broke a rib diving across a kitchen countertop to switch the radio off as: “I wonder what Eddie Grundy would have made of the shipping forecast?” CLICK

Every joke signposted for thickos and some of the worst acting on TV.