Epic WTF

I'd have had a go on Winton in his prime, but can't think of any others I fancy, maybe the rescue ranger.

The private clinic I went to had a room that clearly used to be a toilet, with a chaise lounge where the pan used to be, frosted glass window right next to the car park and a code on the wall for the WiFi, that didn't work.

The clinic we used in Cheshunt had a dedicated room with a call bell for the nurse. I think it even had a dvd player

So can we a wank scale for the different places? Out of 5 wrists.

Sitting on the tube getting shunned with a biohazard trolley of my own frozen jizz would be the most bizarre but satisfying feeling I reckon

I might start taking my lunch in a Peli case covered in Hazmat and "Contains Human Spunk" stickers with me on the occasion that I have to get the overground to work. Might get me some personal space.

More likely you’d probably get no extra space and a picture of you would end up on /r/london

I might start taking my lunch in a Peli case covered in Hazmat and "Contains Human Spunk" stickers

Odd choice of sandwich filling but you do you

More of a biscuit topping?

Only if you're not quick enough

Mine was the Lister Clinic in London. Room about the size of a box bedroom with a 2 seater sofa. Had a selection of very dated mags and a serving hatch like in a 70s hatch between kitchen and dining room, through which to serve your potted custard.

Need to avoid people with a nut allergy

I’d report that to Fortean Times. Sounds very much like you may have experienced a time slip.

Every time I've been required to provide samples, I've just been told to bring one in within 2 hours of "producing" it.

One occasion, I was just asked to post it.

I guess it's what they need the sample for though - these were all for various tests, rather than fertilisation.

We’re going to have to change this thread from WTF to WTW soon.

Bunch of wankers itt.

New page fail, but not bad.

Mine was in a nice place on the Upper East Side. So I had a dedicated room, with a big comfy gyni bed thing, TV and a whole selection of videos. Aetna FTW.

I found choosing appropriate material quite stressful as I felt like it would be wrong to have anything too unseemly.

I found choosing appropriate material quite stressful as I felt like it would be wrong to have anything too unseemly.

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Sounds similar to my experience at the Chelsea & Westminster but no jazz mags. Just a couch, a coffee table with a couple of remotes on it and a TV and DVD player on the other side of the room. A strange experience.

I found myself obsessing about how long I was in the cubicle. In my mind the receptionist was running a stopwatch on my performance.

Didn't want to be in there weirdly long but definitely didn't want to finish too quickly.

It proper put me off my stroke.

Has anyone on this forum NOT had a wank in a hospital?

Given the sausage fest of the user list and the popularity of the Middle Aged Thread, chances are slim.

I've never handed my spaff over in a plastic cup...

I got to have mine at home and bring it in ‘carried in an inside pocket to keep it warm’ after my snip.

I’ve never spent long enough in hospital to have just had one for the fun of it.