At their best, etiquette systems are widely understood conventions that help people interact civilly. At their worst (and I'd argue this is much more common), they're a set of unspoken rules used by asshats to shame and exclude. Instant Messaging is a phenomenon that didn't exist in living memory, so people's engagement with it can be affected by their age, the time (and extent to which) digital comms entered their lives and many other things. People may consciously reject the etiquette you want to insist on, they may be entirely unaware of it, they may struggle to shake off learned behaviour from other forms of communication, they may simply have a different understanding of IM etiquette (which is something that emerged rather than being set down in a rulebook and there's more than one), to name just a few reasons why somone might type "No." instead of "no". If you think that observing what you believe to be IM etiquette makes you a nicer person, well, you'd be an even nicer person if you were aware of (and tolerant of) the varied circumstances of the people on the other end of the digital comms. Otherwise, you're the asshat. There's a convention long observed by people building digital comms technology that goes "Be tolerant of what you receive and careful of what you send", and it works just as well for people using the products.
At their best, etiquette systems are widely understood conventions that help people interact civilly. At their worst (and I'd argue this is much more common), they're a set of unspoken rules used by asshats to shame and exclude. Instant Messaging is a phenomenon that didn't exist in living memory, so people's engagement with it can be affected by their age, the time (and extent to which) digital comms entered their lives and many other things. People may consciously reject the etiquette you want to insist on, they may be entirely unaware of it, they may struggle to shake off learned behaviour from other forms of communication, they may simply have a different understanding of IM etiquette (which is something that emerged rather than being set down in a rulebook and there's more than one), to name just a few reasons why somone might type "No." instead of "no". If you think that observing what you believe to be IM etiquette makes you a nicer person, well, you'd be an even nicer person if you were aware of (and tolerant of) the varied circumstances of the people on the other end of the digital comms. Otherwise, you're the asshat. There's a convention long observed by people building digital comms technology that goes "Be tolerant of what you receive and careful of what you send", and it works just as well for people using the products.