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This sounds like a really difficult situation. Dogs are allowed off-lead loads of places and will often come over and say hi to people. 9 times out of 10 it's well received, and the reverse situation happens tonnes too (humans going over to pet dogs, uninvited). So dog owners are not conditioned to think it's a bad thing. Obviously when your son reacts like that people should recall their dogs. But I'm not surprised that many don't, as dog owners like any other group of people contain plenty of wrong-uns, weirdoes, thoughtless or just distracted people.
I think the legality of the situation is a bit of a red herring. You are not going to find the police taking an interest, and even if they did they're not going to be around to prevent it the next time.
I think grudgingly you are going to have to accept that this is a thing that will happen sometimes, and work on what you can do to make it less shit when it happens. I'm not in any way saying it's your or your son's fault of course - but just that you are not going to be able to change other people's (or dogs') behaviour.
What would you do if your son has a similar reaction to say cats or pigeons or something else coming up to him? Is there any way you could familiarize him with a friend's or family member's dog (small, cute, gentle) in a safe and familiar setting?
For what it's worth tonnes of kids are terrified by dogs (I was as a kid too). It was bad enough to be a serious fear that stopped me enjoying things like going to the park. In hindsight I wish my parents had done something about it (even as simple as just talking to me) but they were not at all tuned into my emotions or needs or inner life, shall we say. I'm not suggesting my experiences were like your kid's tho.
As a dog owner I always try to notice this and keep him away but there are times when I feel pretty bad, even just walking him on a lead on the pavement you see kids cower away sometimes. Not sure how it's possible to avoid this though.
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lemonade
Not sure if this is the place to ask but looking for a dog owner’s perspective.
Keeping a long story short-ish, my 7 yr old autistic son is terrified of dogs approaching and sniffing him when they are off the lead. He has a very obvious and strong fearful reaction, tears, screaming, shaking etc when a dog comes up to him.
The difficult part for me is that even when I shout over to the owner to recall the dog, I get a few seconds of being told ‘don’t worry he’s very friendly’ etc., which I can understand but given the extreme way my son is melting down in front of them I’d prefer them to understand that maybe he has a particular need and they should just get on with recalling their dog and then we can talk.
It’s got to the point where on one occasion I’ve felt I had to explain the legal situation (which is designed in favour of people like my son) because the owner was offended that I had pulled her dog away from him myself while she was 50 yards away shouting to me about how friendly he is.
I can feel myself getting a bit more impatient every time this happens but at the same time I can see how for the owners it is an unexpected situation to find themselves in while out for a pleasant walk, so I’m not totally surprised at how relaxed they are. I can’t call the owners ignorant - I think there could be more shared about the Dogs Act and why it exists, why it’s important for dogs to have recall etc. but in the moment isn’t the right time for me to explain this. The one time I did I was told in no uncertain terms that I was in the wrong because ‘we’re on open land, the National Trust say it’s ok’ etc.
So dog owners, short of never taking my son out on his bike in the countryside again, what can I do here that helps and doesn’t get me attacked for being selfish for wanting to make sure my son is ok. My running mate suggested I get some kind of high pitched anti dog alarm thing but I’m doubtful about it working that well based on the reviews. Any thoughts?