I confess...

This was during lockdown btw it just popped into my head and gave me a wee chuckle.

That's amazing. They should submit the BDHU manifesto next time.

There is a pompous, annoying man who locks his bike in our buildings bike lockup and I occasionally drop his tyre pressure by 10 to 15 psi.

isn't there a safety issue if they clatter into a pothole and fuck a wheel up as a result of having less pressure in their tyres?

He is fine, don't worry

Won't anyone think of the pinch flats?!?🐍

Without my glasses I was surprised to see on the today page on there there was a thread with many pages devoted to fisting. On further examination was relieved/disappointed that fixeh mumsnet had a fishing thread instead

Did we ever discover who bought the sex toys?

Well, sex toys and sea creatures can overlap if you're brave enough.

CW: animal abuse, weird sex stuff, unpleasant medical stuff, eels up bums

It's already stolen from somewhere else according to the OP anyway...

Is an eel a type of fish, is its head the size of a fist? Portmanteau thread title incoming…

#askingforafiend

That's one elver fish.

At Pure, Leon etc, sometimes I say I am going to takeaway but then I eat in anyway.

Tax evasion.

At Pure, Leon etc,

Is this a way of not confessing that it was McDonald's?

I would go to Maccys, but there are no gluten free options

I once saw a couple of women asked to leave a Pret, after saying “to take away” and then promptly sitting at one of the tables to drink their coffee.

Everyone treated to “it costs more to eat in”/“why?” on repeat.

In NL, you are not allowed by law to drink your coffee in a take away cup in the coffee place, to reduce waste. Some people really struggle with this, because they really eant to drink their coffee from a paper cup (with plastic film on the inside mind you). I have no idea why they wpuld want that, it tastes much better from a proper cup.

I got an email to my work address headed “Anal Fisting Trip Subs” speed reading is not my forte.
canal fishing trip subs

I almost fell over when they charged me a £5 deposit for my cup at Monmouth on the market.

At least they let you keep your shoe
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/15/belgian-bars-put-the-boot-into-tourists-who-steal-beer-glasses

Today I've eaten £3.96 worth of Cornish Yarg that I found on the floor of a carpark.

This you?

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5ygw9ye90po.amp

Maybe I've eaten a crucial piece of evidence

What kind of car park? Were you going to a car? What car?

What did you eat the cheese with?

An outdoors one, at a place that sells high end cheese. I'd parked there.